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Groups > comp.os.linux.advocacy > #347730

Re: Linux User Superiority

From DFS <nospam@dfs.com>
Newsgroups comp.os.linux.advocacy
Subject Re: Linux User Superiority
Date 2016-03-27 11:18 -0400
Organization A noiseless patient Spider
Message-ID <nd8tdk$nmo$1@dont-email.me> (permalink)
References <nd4eph0oe6@news4.newsguy.com> <nd6aa1$kok$1@dont-email.me> <nd6ju0168m@news6.newsguy.com> <nd7k26$418$1@dont-email.me> <nd8nfa2d96@news3.newsguy.com>

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On 3/27/2016 9:33 AM, Fabian Russell wrote:
> On Sat, 26 Mar 2016 23:32:14 -0400, DFS wrote:
>
>>
>> It's kind of a big deal.
>>
>
> For you it must be an extremely big deal.
>
> You do NOTHING with a computer but only watch what other people
> do with computers.
>
> Only a simpleton par excellance would care about such trivial
> shit.
>
> You are like the unattractive spinster that vicariously follows
> every movement of the Hollywood crowd through various cheap tabloids.
>
> You are like the tattered voyeurs that frequent the "peep shows"
> in the red light district.
>
> You couldn't even produce a set of mailing labels on a randomly
> selected office suite, but you know which one is the hottest seller.
 >
> You are not even an approximation.  You are a complete and utter fail.
>
> Your opinions and judgments will always be worth less than a pile
> of dog shit.


I can tell how little they mean to you: every time I post an opinion you 
rant and froth and tell us how much you hate Microsoft and how great you 
are at every computing task under the sun.

But guess what, little fella?  Monday morning is coming soon, and it's 
Windows you'll be booting up at work.  Again.

Here, have some fun with my 2011 Ode To Crapware.  Best when read out loud.

-----------------------------------------------------------

A is for "advocate", who freeloads the code
Their shameless hypocrisy we do like to goad
Each Monday am it's Windows they boot
Free software means nothing in the face of big loot

B is for bash, they call it a shell
New users are flummoxed and shout "What the hell?"
Bourne Again Shell is it's formal birth name
It's now 23 years old and still POSIX-tively lame

C is for chown, a most geeky task
Watch the NFS files or it could bite your ass
If it throws an ENOMEM and you know what that means
You should take a long break from your grimy green screens

D is for distro, a pile of crap code
They multiply like roaches and they're free to download
You can try 1 a day for the rest of your life
Some geeks prefer it to having a wife

E is for ext4, an extended filesystem
It waits to write data - it delays allocation
4 is the safest with journal checksumming
If 5 has no fragments the geeks won't stop cumming

F is for Fedora, a "community" distro
What I want to know is why they do Spin it so?
They say "Freedom. Friends. Features. First." is their slogan
But the software they give me comes deep from their colon

G is for GNU, a kernel-less mess
The founder eats toejam, in public no less
They say they want software which respects your freedom
But they won't endorse Slackware - that surely is real dumb

H is for Hurd, a long-delayed kernel
The struggle to code it has become eternal
The most inner layer of Hurd is named Mach
The junk heaped around it is just GuhNoo crock

I is for inode, they keep your files ordered
If they run out your hard drive just might be slaughtered
inodes don't store filenames, or data, in fact
ls -i? find -inum?  huh?   What crap

J is for JACK, a sound API
Or is it a daemon?  Pick one and say why
Whatever you choose is the actual meaning
The crapware is still in the middle of weaning

K is for KDE, a once-proud desktop
But lately here now it's reverting to slop
They added plasmoids and widgets galore!
And just turned it into a new open sore

L is for Linux, a horrid platform
If it's on your computer you're just not the norm
You tinker and toy and waste all the day
"Why?" is the question but no one can say

M is for manpages, so-called documentation
5 minutes with them and you'll know frustration
getpid and setsid will become your new friends
You'll slit both wrists open before reaching the end

N is for netbook, upon which Linux fails
The people cried out "We want Windows for sale!"
The return rates were high, and for very good reason
Lunix slop always was and will be out of season

O is for open source, they say you should read it
But only 1 in 1 million really does need it
If it looks just like pages of gobbledygook
You're sane and you're normal and not some Linux kook

P is for package, a collection of bytes
Before you install it you must have the rights
It will only install with the correct dependencies
If you know what this means you have Lunix tendencies

Q is for Quit, though they really mean Exit
Exit means Exit so why don't they fix Quit?
If Quit doesn't Quit and the app doesn't leave
Click Shutdown and reboot the Windows CD

R is for Reiser, a murdering man
He killed, hid the body, then quickly he ran
Five-O caught him squirming in Momma's downstairs
He lied and he weaseled and avoided the chair

S is for segfault, you will see it often
One might even greet you as soon as you login
A dereferenced NULL pointer is one common cause
It's another of the slopware's innumerable flaws

T is for text files, they config the crapware
They're scattered all over, but who really knows where?
.bashrc is hidden, while bashrc is not
The difference is unclear - it's hidden by .dot

U is for Ubuntu, an ungodly mess
Its developers are crappy and need to confess
The forums are filled to the brim with complaints
It freezes so much it would test all the saints

V is for vi, a ridiculous text editor
You'll have better luck evading a creditor
Some say use Vim, that it's quite an improvement
Or so that's the claim from the geek in the basement

W is for women, who really hate Linux
They don't know and don't care how much Tux really sux
They want to be treated with respect and humanity
Is that too much to ask of the man-child community?

X is for xargs, a CLI piece of crap
I'd much rather suffer a flubbed spinal tap
If xargs is "more safer and easy to use"
Why is my poor Grandma so scared and confused?

Y is for YUM, just another install tool
25 package managers? Lunix looks like a fool
None of them gives you the options you want
The hobbyist developers were just trying to flaunt

Z is for zombie, a process that won't die
Your crapbox may have thousands - nobody knows why
Kill the parent process and the zombie could live on
Kill the parent crapware and inspire this alphabet song...


Copyright DFS, 2011
-----------------------------------------------------------

heh!

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Thread

Linux User Superiority Fabian Russell <fb@zen.info> - 2016-03-25 22:40 +0000
  Re: Linux User Superiority Nobody <nobody@nowhere.net> - 2016-03-25 18:47 -0400
  Jesse Rehmer, please don't drop this post... Jeff-Relf.Me <@.> - 2016-03-25 17:25 -0700
    Re: Jesse Rehmer, please don't drop this post... "Sir Gregory Hall, Esq." <greghall@yacht_master.fake> - 2016-03-26 15:41 -0400
  Jesse Rehmer, please don't drop this post... Jeff-Relf.Me <@.> - 2016-03-25 17:26 -0700
  Re: Linux User Superiority owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2016-03-26 03:01 +0000
  Re: Linux User Superiority DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2016-03-26 11:39 -0400
    Re: Linux User Superiority Fabian Russell <fb@zen.info> - 2016-03-26 18:20 +0000
      Fabian Russell is a Pipsqueak! John Gohde <john.h.gohde@gmail.com> - 2016-03-26 14:26 -0700
      Re: Linux User Superiority DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2016-03-26 23:32 -0400
        Re: Linux User Superiority "Ezekiel" <zeke@nosuchemail.com> - 2016-03-27 09:04 -0400
          Re: Linux User Superiority DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2016-03-27 11:46 -0400
        Re: Linux User Superiority Fabian Russell <fb@zen.info> - 2016-03-27 13:33 +0000
          Re: Linux User Superiority DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2016-03-27 11:18 -0400
            Re: Linux User Superiority Nobody <nobody@nowhere.net> - 2016-03-27 11:21 -0400
        Re: Linux User Superiority Fabian Russell <fb@zen.info> - 2016-03-27 13:43 +0000
        Re: Linux User Superiority Chris Ahlstrom <OFeem1987@teleworm.us> - 2016-03-27 09:42 -0400
    Re: Linux User Superiority owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2016-03-26 18:55 +0000
      Re: Linux User Superiority Fabian Russell <fb@zen.info> - 2016-03-26 19:21 +0000
        Re: Linux User Superiority owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2016-03-26 19:45 +0000
          Re: Linux User Superiority Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2016-03-26 13:46 -0700
            Re: Linux User Superiority Peter Köhlmann <peter-koehlmann@t-online.de> - 2016-03-26 22:28 +0100
              Re: Linux User Superiority Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2016-03-26 20:51 -0700
                Re: Linux User Superiority Peter Köhlmann <peter-koehlmann@t-online.de> - 2016-03-27 09:33 +0200
                Re: Linux User Superiority Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2016-03-27 14:58 -0700
                Re: Linux User Superiority Peter Köhlmann <peter-koehlmann@t-online.de> - 2016-03-29 19:57 +0200
                Re: Linux User Superiority Somebody <somebody@nowhere.net> - 2016-03-29 14:06 -0400
                Re: Linux User Superiority Peter Köhlmann <peter-koehlmann@t-online.de> - 2016-03-29 22:05 +0200
                Re: Linux User Superiority ronb <ronb02NOSPAM@gmail.com> - 2016-03-29 20:37 +0000
                Re: Linux User Superiority Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2016-03-29 14:00 -0700
                Re: Linux User Superiority Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2016-03-29 13:58 -0700
                Re: Linux User Superiority Crusher <crusher4rockpile@mail.com> - 2016-03-29 19:47 -0400
                Re: Linux User Superiority chrisv <chrisv@nospam.invalid> - 2016-03-30 06:50 -0500
                Re: Linux User Superiority Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2016-03-30 11:35 -0700
                Re: Linux User Superiority Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2016-03-29 12:02 -0700
            Re: Linux User Superiority owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2016-03-27 21:04 +0000
              Re: Linux User Superiority DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2016-03-27 17:16 -0400
              Re: Linux User Superiority Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2016-03-27 15:00 -0700
      Re: Linux User Superiority DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2016-03-26 18:53 -0400
        Re: Linux User Superiority owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2016-03-27 04:28 +0000
  Re: Hitler.ORG benj <none@gmail.com> - 2016-03-26 23:25 -0400
  Re: Linux User Superiority Desk Rabbit <me@example.com> - 2016-03-29 13:32 +0100

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