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TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE)

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  TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "Colonel Edmund J. Burke" <burkesgurlz@t-girls.com> - 2016-07-02 09:50 -0700
    Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Sergio <invalid@invalid.com> - 2016-07-02 11:55 -0500
    Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Double-A <double-a3@hush.com> - 2016-07-02 12:57 -0700
      Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "Colonel Edmund J. Burke" <burkesgurlz@t-girls.com> - 2016-07-03 05:47 -0700
        Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) john <johnsefton288@gmail.com> - 2016-07-03 06:40 -0700
          Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "Colonel Edmund J. Burke" <burkesgurlz@t-girls.com> - 2016-07-03 08:34 -0700
            Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "Colonel Edmund J. Burke" <burkesgurlz@t-girls.com> - 2016-07-03 09:01 -0700
            Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "Checkmate, DoW #1" <Lunatic.Fringe@The.Edge> - 2016-07-03 11:27 -0700
              Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "%" <persent@gmail.com> - 2016-07-03 12:46 -0700
              Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "reber g=emc^2" <herbertglazier0@gmail.com> - 2016-07-03 13:13 -0700
                Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Double-A <double-a3@hush.com> - 2016-07-03 13:49 -0700
                  Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Sergio <invalid@invalid.com> - 2016-07-04 20:56 -0500
                  Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "reber g=emc^2" <herbertglazier0@gmail.com> - 2016-07-06 12:15 -0700
                    Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Double-A <double-a3@hush.com> - 2016-07-07 12:43 -0700
                      Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Sergio <invalid@invalid.com> - 2016-07-07 17:02 -0500
                      Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "reber g=emc^2" <herbertglazier0@gmail.com> - 2016-07-07 17:07 -0700
                        Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Double-A <double-a3@hush.com> - 2016-07-08 13:54 -0700
                    Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "reber g=emc^2" <herbertglazier0@gmail.com> - 2016-07-08 10:41 -0700
    Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) xxein1@att.net - 2016-07-03 11:53 -0700
    Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) benj <benj@nobody.net> - 2016-07-05 19:40 -0400
      Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "hanson" <hanson@quick.net> - 2016-07-05 21:03 -0700
      Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) ClutterFreak <ClutterFreak@FakeAddress.com> - 2016-07-06 11:01 -0500
    Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "reber g=emc^2" <herbertglazier0@gmail.com> - 2016-07-08 16:36 -0700
      Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Double-A <double-a3@hush.com> - 2016-07-09 13:10 -0700
        Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) benj <benj@nobody.net> - 2016-07-09 16:48 -0400
        Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) "reber g=emc^2" <herbertglazier0@gmail.com> - 2016-07-12 19:17 -0700
          Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) Double-A <double-a3@hush.com> - 2016-07-14 15:07 -0700
            Re: TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE) benj <benj@nobody.net> - 2016-07-14 19:07 -0400

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#587655 — TOILET PAPER (NAM STYLE)

Shitting in the wild, when not involuntary, can sometimes be a problem. 
Not the shitting itself, mind you, but the wiping part.....
What we used in Nam:

smooth stones

mullein leaves  (These can be too soft, however, so you might wind up 
with shitfingers.

oak leaves - very tough on the old arsehole

soft bark or leaves from other plants - need to be soft, pliable, tough.

water is used in Asian countries with much success. However, their diet 
is different; they tend to have looser shitz.

going without (this would depend on one's diet and personal 
preferences).  You'll be nicked "browneye" soon.

dried corn husks - these are very strong, pliable, and partially 
absorbent, and work really well.

corncobs!  (They work good; just make sure and use 'em sideways, so they 
don't accidentally "slip" in.

sphagnum moss  (In boggy places like Nam)


NOTE: please take this seriously!  I've tried it many times and it 
works.  If you are caught short and need to poop simply spread your bum 
cheeks apart [with yer hands], and do your business.  The poops will 
usually plop out smoothly, and your bum will not need cleaning.  It 
maybe useful to lean back against a tree or rock with yer boots wedged 
behind yer ears sometimes.

Any questions?

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#587657

you were never in Nam, liar.

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#587673

On Saturday, July 2, 2016 at 9:50:37 AM UTC-7, Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:
> Shitting in the wild, when not involuntary, can sometimes be a problem. 
> Not the shitting itself, mind you, but the wiping part.....
> What we used in Nam:
> 
> smooth stones
> 
> mullein leaves  (These can be too soft, however, so you might wind up 
> with shitfingers.
> 
> oak leaves - very tough on the old arsehole
> 
> soft bark or leaves from other plants - need to be soft, pliable, tough.
> 
> water is used in Asian countries with much success. However, their diet 
> is different; they tend to have looser shitz.
> 
> going without (this would depend on one's diet and personal 
> preferences).  You'll be nicked "browneye" soon.
> 
> dried corn husks - these are very strong, pliable, and partially 
> absorbent, and work really well.
> 
> corncobs!  (They work good; just make sure and use 'em sideways, so they 
> don't accidentally "slip" in.
> 
> sphagnum moss  (In boggy places like Nam)
> 
> 
> NOTE: please take this seriously!  I've tried it many times and it 
> works.  If you are caught short and need to poop simply spread your bum 
> cheeks apart [with yer hands], and do your business.  The poops will 
> usually plop out smoothly, and your bum will not need cleaning.  It 
> maybe useful to lean back against a tree or rock with yer boots wedged 
> behind yer ears sometimes.
> 
> Any questions?


Are you another chicken colonel?  

Double-A

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#587795

On 7/2/2016 12:57 PM, Double-A wrote:

> Are you another chicken colonel?
>
> Double-A
>

"Double Asshole" is the perfect nyme for a tard like you, sonny.
LOL

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#587803

Softer shits are WORSE for
needing wiping

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#587810

On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> Softer shits are WORSE for
> needing wiping
>
I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
cheeks and spread 'em wide.

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#587812

On 7/3/2016 8:46 AM, Mr. Smartypants DoW #4, Supreme Fuckhead wrote:
> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 9:34:39 AM UTC-6, Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:
>> On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
>>> Softer shits are WORSE for
>>> needing wiping
>>>
>> I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass
>> cheeks and spread 'em wide.
>
> Would inserting a short length of 2" diameter pipe in yer pooper help?
>
Use a corn cobb to gape it if required.
LOLK

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#587825

In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...


> 
> On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> > Softer shits are WORSE for
> > needing wiping
> >
> I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
> cheeks and spread 'em wide.

He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they still 
leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork.  That's one of 
the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a one-wiper every time, 
with a second wipe to verify it, of course.

-- 

Checkmate, AUK DoW #1, new Honorary FNVW of AUK, and Fakey's master
AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Vote  (Post-Burnore)
Originator of the "Dance for me" (tm) lame
Copyright © 2016 
all rights reserved 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be

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#587834

Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
> In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com
> says... 
> 
> 
>> 
>> On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
>>> Softer shits are WORSE for
>>> needing wiping
>>> 
>> I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass
>> cheeks and spread 'em wide.
> 
> He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they
> still leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork. 
> That's one of the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a
> one-wiper every time, with a second wipe to verify it, of course.

i always get a good clean taper

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#587843

On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
> In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...
> 
> 
> > 
> > On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> > > Softer shits are WORSE for
> > > needing wiping
> > >
> > I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
> > cheeks and spread 'em wide.
> 
> He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they still 
> leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork.  That's one of 
> the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a one-wiper every time, 
> with a second wipe to verify it, of course.
> 
> -- 
> 
> Checkmate, AUK DoW #1, new Honorary FNVW of AUK, and Fakey's master
> AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
> Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Vote  (Post-Burnore)
> Originator of the "Dance for me" (tm) lame
> Copyright © 2016 
> all rights reserved 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be

Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a wunder product.Trebert

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#587850

On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:13:09 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
> > In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...
> > 
> > 
> > > 
> > > On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> > > > Softer shits are WORSE for
> > > > needing wiping
> > > >
> > > I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
> > > cheeks and spread 'em wide.
> > 
> > He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they still 
> > leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork.  That's one of 
> > the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a one-wiper every time, 
> > with a second wipe to verify it, of course.
> > 
> > -- 
> > 
> > Checkmate, AUK DoW #1, new Honorary FNVW of AUK, and Fakey's master
> > AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
> > Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Vote  (Post-Burnore)
> > Originator of the "Dance for me" (tm) lame
> > Copyright © 2016 
> > all rights reserved 
> > 
> > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be
> 
> Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a wunder product.Trebert


What did it replace?  That scratchy old Sears catalog paper?

Double-A

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#588000

On 7/3/2016 3:49 PM, Double-A wrote:
> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:13:09 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
>> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
>>> In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...
>>>
>>>
>>>>

>>
>> Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a wunder product.Trebert
>
>
> What did it replace?  That scratchy old Sears catalog paper?
>
> Double-A
>

no, in the eastern world today, they use another way that is lower cost, 
less impact on the infrastructure, does not use trees/paper, and is even 
more sanatary.  From Turkey to China, and Africa.  The Brittish started 
the paper stuff.  (hint: do not shake w left hand)

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#588176

On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:49:06 PM UTC-7, Double-A wrote:
> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:13:09 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
> > > In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...
> > > 
> > > 
> > > > 
> > > > On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> > > > > Softer shits are WORSE for
> > > > > needing wiping
> > > > >
> > > > I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
> > > > cheeks and spread 'em wide.
> > > 
> > > He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they still 
> > > leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork.  That's one of 
> > > the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a one-wiper every time, 
> > > with a second wipe to verify it, of course.
> > > 
> > > -- 
> > > 
> > > Checkmate, AUK DoW #1, new Honorary FNVW of AUK, and Fakey's master
> > > AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
> > > Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Vote  (Post-Burnore)
> > > Originator of the "Dance for me" (tm) lame
> > > Copyright © 2016 
> > > all rights reserved 
> > > 
> > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be
> > 
> > Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a wunder product.Trebert
> 
> 
> What did it replace?  That scratchy old Sears catalog paper?
> 
> Double-A

AA My company M*M has added to toilet paper that could make it a billion dollars. Its a great idea and shoulod have been done 100 years ago.Still it can be now used by more ass holes.Woman will love it.People will say "HOW COULD WE WIPE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT IT"  Babies will toilet train faster.TreBert  I'll post what it is soon

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#588284

On Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 12:15:21 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:49:06 PM UTC-7, Double-A wrote:
> > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:13:09 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> > > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
> > > > In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > > 
> > > > > On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> > > > > > Softer shits are WORSE for
> > > > > > needing wiping
> > > > > >
> > > > > I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
> > > > > cheeks and spread 'em wide.
> > > > 
> > > > He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they still 
> > > > leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork.  That's one of 
> > > > the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a one-wiper every time, 
> > > > with a second wipe to verify it, of course.
> > > > 
> > > > -- 
> > > > 
> > > > Checkmate, AUK DoW #1, new Honorary FNVW of AUK, and Fakey's master
> > > > AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
> > > > Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Vote  (Post-Burnore)
> > > > Originator of the "Dance for me" (tm) lame
> > > > Copyright © 2016 
> > > > all rights reserved 
> > > > 
> > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be
> > > 
> > > Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a wunder product.Trebert
> > 
> > 
> > What did it replace?  That scratchy old Sears catalog paper?
> > 
> > Double-A
> 
> AA My company M*M has added to toilet paper that could make it a billion dollars. Its a great idea and shoulod have been done 100 years ago.Still it can be now used by more ass holes.Woman will love it.People will say "HOW COULD WE WIPE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT IT"  Babies will toilet train faster.TreBert  I'll post what it is soon


Will there be a stock IPO?

Double-A

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#588293

On 7/7/2016 2:43 PM, Double-A wrote:
> On Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 12:15:21 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2
> wrote:
>> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:49:06 PM UTC-7, Double-A wrote:
>>> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:13:09 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2
>>> wrote:
>>>> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1
>>>> wrote:
>>>>> In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>,


>
>>>>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be
>>>>
>>>> Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a
>>>> wunder product.Trebert
>>>
>>>
>>> What did it replace?  That scratchy old Sears catalog paper?
>>>
>>> Double-A
>>
>> AA My company M*M has added to toilet paper that could make it a
>> billion dollars. Its a great idea and shoulod have been done 100
>> years ago.Still it can be now used by more ass holes.Woman will
>> love it.People will say "HOW COULD WE WIPE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT
>> IT"  Babies will toilet train faster.TreBert  I'll post what it is
>> soon
>
>
> Will there be a stock IPO?
>
> Double-A
>


If it is reusable, I will buy the stock.
HUGE financial advantage if you dont have to throw the paper out each 
time after whiping.

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#588304

On Thursday, July 7, 2016 at 12:43:16 PM UTC-7, Double-A wrote:
> On Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 12:15:21 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:49:06 PM UTC-7, Double-A wrote:
> > > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:13:09 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> > > > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
> > > > > In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...
> > > > > 
> > > > > 
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> > > > > > > Softer shits are WORSE for
> > > > > > > needing wiping
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
> > > > > > cheeks and spread 'em wide.
> > > > > 
> > > > > He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they still 
> > > > > leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork.  That's one of 
> > > > > the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a one-wiper every time, 
> > > > > with a second wipe to verify it, of course.
> > > > > 
> > > > > -- 
> > > > > 
> > > > > Checkmate, AUK DoW #1, new Honorary FNVW of AUK, and Fakey's master
> > > > > AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
> > > > > Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Vote  (Post-Burnore)
> > > > > Originator of the "Dance for me" (tm) lame
> > > > > Copyright © 2016 
> > > > > all rights reserved 
> > > > > 
> > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be
> > > > 
> > > > Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a wunder product.Trebert
> > > 
> > > 
> > > What did it replace?  That scratchy old Sears catalog paper?
> > > 
> > > Double-A
> > 
> > AA My company M*M has added to toilet paper that could make it a billion dollars. Its a great idea and shoulod have been done 100 years ago.Still it can be now used by more ass holes.Woman will love it.People will say "HOW COULD WE WIPE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT IT"  Babies will toilet train faster.TreBert  I'll post what it is soon
> 
> 
> Will there be a stock IPO?
> 
> Double-A

I predict by 2020 just 4 years away you can use all stock market paper,and hope US bonds are on solf paper.Once USA hits 25 trillion in the red only Trump and 400 GOPer billionairs will survive. China is covering for us as I type. We will have to start makinh 100 dollar bills on Scott paper. That is a given and a very sad picture. Right here in MEXafonia (LA) there are the first signs.TreBert

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#588400

On Thursday, July 7, 2016 at 5:07:18 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> On Thursday, July 7, 2016 at 12:43:16 PM UTC-7, Double-A wrote:
> > On Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 12:15:21 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> > > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:49:06 PM UTC-7, Double-A wrote:
> > > > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:13:09 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> > > > > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
> > > > > > In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> > > > > > > > Softer shits are WORSE for
> > > > > > > > needing wiping
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
> > > > > > > cheeks and spread 'em wide.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they still 
> > > > > > leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork.  That's one of 
> > > > > > the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a one-wiper every time, 
> > > > > > with a second wipe to verify it, of course.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > -- 
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Checkmate, AUK DoW #1, new Honorary FNVW of AUK, and Fakey's master
> > > > > > AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
> > > > > > Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Vote  (Post-Burnore)
> > > > > > Originator of the "Dance for me" (tm) lame
> > > > > > Copyright © 2016 
> > > > > > all rights reserved 
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be
> > > > > 
> > > > > Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a wunder product.Trebert
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > What did it replace?  That scratchy old Sears catalog paper?
> > > > 
> > > > Double-A
> > > 
> > > AA My company M*M has added to toilet paper that could make it a billion dollars. Its a great idea and shoulod have been done 100 years ago.Still it can be now used by more ass holes.Woman will love it.People will say "HOW COULD WE WIPE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT IT"  Babies will toilet train faster.TreBert  I'll post what it is soon
> > 
> > 
> > Will there be a stock IPO?
> > 
> > Double-A
> 
> I predict by 2020 just 4 years away you can use all stock market paper,and hope US bonds are on solf paper.Once USA hits 25 trillion in the red only Trump and 400 GOPer billionairs will survive. China is covering for us as I type. We will have to start makinh 100 dollar bills on Scott paper. That is a given and a very sad picture. Right here in MEXafonia (LA) there are the first signs.TreBert


Paper stock certificates have almost been eliminated.  Hard to get them without paying a big fee!  Don't know if you can still get paper US bonds.  There is even talk of elimination the 100 dollar bill.  You remember they eliminated the 1000 dollar bill years ago.  The paper money is made of may not be Scott, but it is softer than the old outhouse catalogs!  If inflation has its way, there may be a lot of bills to wipe with!  The old German 20,000 mark bills from the 1920s I still have a stack of are a little to scratchy.

Double-A

 

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#588368

On Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 12:15:21 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:49:06 PM UTC-7, Double-A wrote:
> > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 1:13:09 PM UTC-7, reber g=emc^2 wrote:
> > > On Sunday, July 3, 2016 at 11:27:57 AM UTC-7, Checkmate, DoW #1 wrote:
> > > > In article <igaez.2425$vW.668@fx26.iad>, burkesgurlz@t-girls.com says...
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > > 
> > > > > On 7/3/2016 6:40 AM, john wrote:
> > > > > > Softer shits are WORSE for
> > > > > > needing wiping
> > > > > >
> > > > > I've covered that in my lecture.  Take a'hold, firmly, of both ass 
> > > > > cheeks and spread 'em wide.
> > > > 
> > > > He's right, as everybody knows.  You can pinch them off, but they still 
> > > > leave the tail upinya, which requires a lot of paperwork.  That's one of 
> > > > the side benefits of taking oxies... you get a one-wiper every time, 
> > > > with a second wipe to verify it, of course.
> > > > 
> > > > -- 
> > > > 
> > > > Checkmate, AUK DoW #1, new Honorary FNVW of AUK, and Fakey's master
> > > > AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
> > > > Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Vote  (Post-Burnore)
> > > > Originator of the "Dance for me" (tm) lame
> > > > Copyright © 2016 
> > > > all rights reserved 
> > > > 
> > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyBYSuqQBQ&feature=youtu.be
> > > 
> > > Scott in NYC over 100 years ago invented toilet paper.Its a wunder product.Trebert
> > 
> > 
> > What did it replace?  That scratchy old Sears catalog paper?
> > 
> > Double-A
> 
> AA My company M*M has added to toilet paper that could make it a billion dollars. Its a great idea and shoulod have been done 100 years ago.Still it can be now used by more ass holes.Woman will love it.People will say "HOW COULD WE WIPE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT IT"  Babies will toilet train faster.TreBert  I'll post what it is soon

Must add this.Toilet seat paper needs to be made better.#1 its packaging (BAD) Its to weak,and hard to cover seat.More than half ends up on floor.I have a way to solve all these costly,wastefull,and mess.at no extra cost.Save big noney too. TreBert

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#587828

On Saturday, July 2, 2016 at 12:50:37 PM UTC-4, Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:
> Shitting in the wild, when not involuntary, can sometimes be a problem. 
> Not the shitting itself, mind you, but the wiping part.....
> What we used in Nam:
> 
> smooth stones
> 
> mullein leaves  (These can be too soft, however, so you might wind up 
> with shitfingers.
> 
> oak leaves - very tough on the old arsehole
> 
> soft bark or leaves from other plants - need to be soft, pliable, tough.
> 
> water is used in Asian countries with much success. However, their diet 
> is different; they tend to have looser shitz.
> 
> going without (this would depend on one's diet and personal 
> preferences).  You'll be nicked "browneye" soon.
> 
> dried corn husks - these are very strong, pliable, and partially 
> absorbent, and work really well.
> 
> corncobs!  (They work good; just make sure and use 'em sideways, so they 
> don't accidentally "slip" in.
> 
> sphagnum moss  (In boggy places like Nam)
> 
> 
> NOTE: please take this seriously!  I've tried it many times and it 
> works.  If you are caught short and need to poop simply spread your bum 
> cheeks apart [with yer hands], and do your business.  The poops will 
> usually plop out smoothly, and your bum will not need cleaning.  It 
> maybe useful to lean back against a tree or rock with yer boots wedged 
> behind yer ears sometimes.
> 
> Any questions?

xxein:  Why should I worry about it when I have you to wipe my ass for me?

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#588084

On 7/2/2016 12:50 PM, Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:
.
> NOTE: please take this seriously!  I've tried it many times and it
> works.  If you are caught short and need to poop simply spread your
> bum cheeks apart [with yer hands], and do your business.  The poops
> will usually plop out smoothly, and your bum will not need cleaning.
> It maybe useful to lean back against a tree or rock with yer boots
> wedged behind yer ears sometimes.
>
> Any questions?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have long awaited this day!

I'm talking about the day when asshole theory FINALLY gets discussed on
Sci.physics! I'll bet none of you have noticed what a wonderful
invention an asshole is! I'm waiting for HVAC to comment since he
pretends to have been in Nam and asshole science is the ONLY science he
knows.

To get to the crux of the matter. How does an asshole work? Quite
wonderfully actually and is very similar in nearly all animals.

You have as poop chute tube attached to an contracting sphincter that
acts as an on-off flow valve. This is all well and good but feces are
sticky, smelly and hard to clean off. Hence "intelligent design" found
the need to deal with that problem!

The answer is simplicity itself!  As one proceeds to "take" a dump the
tube sort of "rolls" outward exposing the inside of the tube and forming
a kind of nozzle for the job. If one takes care to retract one's cheeks
so the feces do not rub off on them, when the job is finished the tube
rolls back into the body taking any smear with it leaving an nice
pristine ass hole! of course some animals aren't so fastidious like cows
who have a perfectly fine performing asshole like everyone else, but 
then dribble a nice gooey flop down their backside. Ew. Think of an 
asshole like the "roll" that mounts a large bass speaker.

It's SO hard to find REAL science discussions these days online. All you 
get is a bunch of journalist blather and name-calling ignorance from 
morons like HVAC and similar. And I'm sure he would have much more to 
share if we'd just have more topics on subjects he understands like 
asshole theory!

GOD I miss alt.tasteless!

Question: Anyone here know what "grogan" is? Didn't think so. <sigh>

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