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Blast from the past (Feb 1999): Windows Refund Day - When GuhNoo/Linux Users Demanded Their Money Back

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  Blast from the past (Feb 1999): Windows Refund Day - When GuhNoo/Linux Users Demanded Their Money Back DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-06 15:01 -0500
    GuhNoo/Linux Users Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2019-02-06 12:15 -0800
      Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-06 15:19 -0500
        Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-06 20:43 +0000
          Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users Steve Carroll <fretwizzer@gmail.com> - 2019-02-06 15:19 -0800
          Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-06 18:22 -0500
            Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll". Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2019-02-06 16:18 -0800
              Re: Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll". owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-07 16:37 +0000
                Re: Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll". Steve Carroll <fretwizzer@gmail.com> - 2019-02-07 10:20 -0800
                  Getting laid, like Mr. Owl. Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2019-02-07 10:55 -0800
                    Re: Getting laid, like Mr. Owl. "Sir Gregory Hall,  Esq." <greghall@yacht_maester.fake> - 2019-02-07 14:14 -0500
                      My prostate is positively glowing, these days. Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2019-02-07 11:22 -0800
                      Re: Getting laid, like Mr. Owl. % <persent@gmail.com> - 2019-02-07 12:22 -0700
                      Re: Getting laid, like Mr. Owl. Checkmate <ricksabian1@gmail.com> - 2019-02-07 11:13 -0800
                  Re: Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll". owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-07 21:40 +0000
                    Two 7 gallon VittlesVaults. Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2019-02-07 14:20 -0800
                      Re: Two 7 gallon VittlesVaults. DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-07 18:40 -0500
                        Get rid of your "ball and chain". Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2019-02-07 21:57 -0800
                          Re: Get rid of your "ball and chain". Ratchetjaw <ratchetjaw@mail.com> - 2019-02-08 14:10 +0000
                            Re: Get rid of your "ball and chain". chrisv <chrisv@nospam.invalid> - 2019-02-08 08:18 -0600
                            Re: Get rid of your "ball and chain". "Sir Gregory Hall,  Esq." <greghall@yacht_maester.fake> - 2019-02-08 10:22 -0500
                              Re: Get rid of your "ball and chain". "Pedophile Neal Warren" <208.Sienna.Pl@Saluda.NC> - 2019-02-08 09:26 -0600
              Re: Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll". DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-11 14:50 -0500
                I don't have a ball and chain. Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2019-02-11 13:52 -0800
                  Re: I don't have a ball and chain. Ratchetjaw <ratchetjaw@mail.com> - 2019-02-11 22:01 +0000
                    Re: I don't have a ball and chain. Bucket Mouth - 2019-02-11 15:04 -0700
                  Re: I don't have a ball and chain. % <persent@gmail.com> - 2019-02-11 15:02 -0700
          Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users Chris Ahlstrom <OFeem1987@teleworm.us> - 2019-02-09 19:07 -0500
            Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-09 21:28 -0500
              Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-11 04:21 +0000
                Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users chrisv <chrisv@nospam.invalid> - 2019-02-11 07:25 -0600
                  Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users Snit <usenet@gallopinginsanity.com> - 2019-02-11 13:58 +0000
                Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-11 13:50 -0500
                  Owl going to send us a DickPic with a COLA tattoo. Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2019-02-11 14:10 -0800
                    Re: Owl going to send us a DickPic with a COLA tattoo. owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-11 22:13 +0000
                  Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-11 22:15 +0000
                    Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-11 18:14 -0500
                      Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-12 01:51 +0000
                        Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-11 21:09 -0500
                          Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-12 02:17 +0000
                            Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-11 22:12 -0500
                              Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-12 04:51 +0000
                                Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users chrisv <chrisv@nospam.invalid> - 2019-02-12 06:49 -0600
                                Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-12 22:07 -0500
                                  Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users Steve Carroll <fretwizzer@gmail.com> - 2019-02-13 07:02 -0800
                                    Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-13 10:21 -0500
                                      Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users Steve Carroll <fretwizzer@gmail.com> - 2019-02-13 07:48 -0800
                                        Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users chrisv <chrisv@nospam.invalid> - 2019-02-13 10:08 -0600
                                          Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-13 17:12 +0000
                                            Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users Steve Carroll <fretwizzer@gmail.com> - 2019-02-13 09:27 -0800
                                              Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-13 17:58 +0000
                                                Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users Steve Carroll <fretwizzer@gmail.com> - 2019-02-13 10:34 -0800
                                            Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users chrisv <chrisv@nospam.invalid> - 2019-02-13 12:51 -0600
                                              Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-13 19:20 +0000
                                                Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users chrisv <chrisv@nospam.invalid> - 2019-02-14 07:41 -0600
                                                  Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-14 16:07 +0000
                                  Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-14 04:53 +0000
                                    Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-14 23:27 -0500
    Re: Blast from the past (Feb 1999): Windows Refund Day - When GuhNoo/Linux Users Demanded Their Money Back owl <owl@rooftop.invalid> - 2019-02-06 20:54 +0000
      Re: Blast from the past (Feb 1999): Windows Refund Day - When GuhNoo/Linux Users Demanded Their Money Back DFS <nospam@dfs.com> - 2019-02-06 18:20 -0500
    Re: Blast from the past (Feb 1999): Windows Refund Day - When GuhNoo/Linux Users Demanded Their Money Back silverslimer <silver@slim.er> - 2019-02-06 16:52 -0500

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#486870 — Blast from the past (Feb 1999): Windows Refund Day - When GuhNoo/Linux Users Demanded Their Money Back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j9j-Ywjmbk


I saw one female protester with breasts; she was obviously paid to be 
there, since GuhNoo girls don't actually have tits.

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#486871 — GuhNoo/Linux Users

> GuhNoo girls don't actually have tits.

The guys do.

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#486873 — Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users

On 2/6/2019 3:15 PM, Jeff-Relf.Me@. wrote:
>> GuhNoo girls don't actually have tits.
> 
> The guys do.

heh!

Large, swinging ones.

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#486875 — Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users

DFS <nospam@dfs.com> wrote:
> On 2/6/2019 3:15 PM, Jeff-Relf.Me@. wrote:
>>> GuhNoo girls don't actually have tits.
>> 
>> The guys do.
> 
> heh!
> 
> Large, swinging ones.
> 

Doesn't Relf weigh like 400 lbs?  Manboobs for sure on that one.
 

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#486890 — Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users

On Wednesday, February 6, 2019 at 1:43:09 PM UTC-7, owl wrote:
> DFS <nospam@dfs.com> wrote:
> > On 2/6/2019 3:15 PM, Jeff-Relf.Me@. wrote:
> >>> GuhNoo girls don't actually have tits.
> >> 
> >> The guys do.
> > 
> > heh!
> > 
> > Large, swinging ones.
> > 
> 
> Doesn't Relf weigh like 400 lbs?  Manboobs for sure on that one.

Now that paints a helluv an image: tits swinging in the cold of Seattle
as a plastic sh*t bucket props up 400 lbs. of nicotine drenched flesh...

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#486892 — Re: GuhNoo/Linux Users

On 2/6/2019 3:43 PM, owl wrote:
> DFS <nospam@dfs.com> wrote:
>> On 2/6/2019 3:15 PM, Jeff-Relf.Me@. wrote:
>>>> GuhNoo girls don't actually have tits.
>>>
>>> The guys do.
>>
>> heh!
>>
>> Large, swinging ones.
>>
> 
> Doesn't Relf weigh like 400 lbs?  Manboobs for sure on that one.


Last I heard he ballooned from 160 to 240; he appears to be attempting 
suicide by food and cigs and loony code.

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#486896 — Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll".

DFS:
> Last I heard [JeffRelf] ballooned from 160 to 240; 

I've been 240 pounds for many years now ( 6ft, 59 years old ).

> he appears to be attempting suicide by food, cigs
> and loony code.

I enjoy food, cigs, an esoteric code.  Speaking of cigs...
I'm binge watching Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll".

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#486952 — Re: Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll".

Jeff-Relf.Me wrote:
> DFS:
>> Last I heard [JeffRelf] ballooned from 160 to 240; 
> 
> I've been 240 pounds for many years now ( 6ft, 59 years old ).
> 

That puts you midway between moderately obese and severely obese. 

https://chadnorwood.com/2008/04/25/weight-obesity-and-bmi/

Congratulations.

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#486954 — Re: Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll".

On Thursday, February 7, 2019 at 9:38:00 AM UTC-7, owl wrote:
> Jeff-Relf.Me wrote:
> > DFS:
> >> Last I heard [JeffRelf] ballooned from 160 to 240; 
> > 
> > I've been 240 pounds for many years now ( 6ft, 59 years old ).
> > 
> 
> That puts you midway between moderately obese and severely obese. 
> 
> https://chadnorwood.com/2008/04/25/weight-obesity-and-bmi/
> 
> Congratulations.

So... at 215 (6ft.) I'm on my way? I think I'd look like a rail at 183.

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#486955 — Getting laid, like Mr. Owl.

Steve Carroll replied:
> > > I've been 240 pounds for many years now ( 6ft, 60 years old ).
> 
> 215 pounds (6ft.)  I look like a rail at 183.

To get laid, like Mr. Owl, I'd have to fix my teeth, dress nicer/cleaner, 
lose 90 lbs, do push-ups, and find a more prestigious, higher paying job.

Even then, I'd have to pay for it, and let her fuck 20 year-olds too.

She'd boss me around, and the sex would be horrible compared to:

  Tenga's "Flip Zero" latches on and won't let go, 
  so you can edge for 5+ HOURS,
  even when you're distracted by something else.

  And it feels good after nutting too -- so even a 60 year-old man, like me,
  nuts multiple times.  Vaseline is the best lube.  It never leaks; no mess.
  When done, open it up, wipe it down with a paper towel, and lay it on its side.

  Once dry, put it back in its case, so it stays clean.
  If this product doesn't take over the world, the world is wrong.

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#486956 — Re: Getting laid, like Mr. Owl.

On Thu, 07 Feb 2019, Jeff-Relf.Me  @. wrote:

<...>

>To get laid, like Mr. Owl, I'd have to fix my teeth, dress nicer/cleaner, 
>lose 90 lbs, do push-ups, and find a more prestigious, higher paying job.
>
>Even then, I'd have to pay for it, and let her fuck 20 year-olds too.
>
>She'd boss me around, and the sex would be horrible compared to:
>
>  Tenga's "Flip Zero" latches on and won't let go, 
>  so you can edge for 5+ HOURS,
>  even when you're distracted by something else.
>
>  And it feels good after nutting too -- so even a 60 year-old man, like me,
>  nuts multiple times.  <...>

Multiple orgasms?  Dream on Relf!

-- 

Everybody here likes Yours Truly, 
Gregøry Hall - Bombastic Loudmouth of the South

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#486957 — My prostate is positively glowing, these days.

Greg replied:
> >  And it feels good after nutting too -- so even a 60 year-old man,
> >  like me, nuts multiple times.  <...>
> 
> Multiple orgasms?  Dream on Relf!

Try it yourself, if you don't believe me.
My prostate is positively glowing, these days.

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#486958 — Re: Getting laid, like Mr. Owl.

On 2019-02-07 12:14 p.m., Sir Gregory Hall,  Esq. wrote:
> On Thu, 07 Feb 2019, Jeff-Relf.Me  @. wrote:
> 
> <...>
> 
>> To get laid, like Mr. Owl, I'd have to fix my teeth, dress nicer/cleaner,
>> lose 90 lbs, do push-ups, and find a more prestigious, higher paying job.
>>
>> Even then, I'd have to pay for it, and let her fuck 20 year-olds too.
>>
>> She'd boss me around, and the sex would be horrible compared to:
>>
>>   Tenga's "Flip Zero" latches on and won't let go,
>>   so you can edge for 5+ HOURS,
>>   even when you're distracted by something else.
>>
>>   And it feels good after nutting too -- so even a 60 year-old man, like me,
>>   nuts multiple times.  <...>
> 
> Multiple orgasms?  Dream on Relf!
> 
the woman i live with can make me have them

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#486959 — Re: Getting laid, like Mr. Owl.

Warning! Always wear ANSI approved safety goggles when reading posts by 
Checkmate!  In article <nq0p5ed4t3kgu1q3n1ehpc6god5rhulcci@4ax.com>, 
greghall@yacht_maester.fake says...


¤ 
¤ On Thu, 07 Feb 2019, Jeff-Relf.Me  @. wrote:
¤ 
¤ <...>
¤ 
¤ >To get laid, like Mr. Owl, I'd have to fix my teeth, dress nicer/cleaner, 
¤ >lose 90 lbs, do push-ups, and find a more prestigious, higher paying job.
¤ >
¤ >Even then, I'd have to pay for it, and let her fuck 20 year-olds too.
¤ >
¤ >She'd boss me around, and the sex would be horrible compared to:
¤ >
¤ >  Tenga's "Flip Zero" latches on and won't let go, 
¤ >  so you can edge for 5+ HOURS,
¤ >  even when you're distracted by something else.
¤ >
¤ >  And it feels good after nutting too -- so even a 60 year-old man, like me,
¤ >  nuts multiple times.  <...>
¤ 
¤ Multiple orgasms?  Dream on Relf!

He'd be singing the Blue Balls Blues.

-- 
Checkmate ®
Copyright © 2018
all rights reserved 

AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Awards (Post-Burnore)
Co-winner Pierre Salinger Hook, Line & Sinker
award May 2001, (Brethern of Beelzebub troll)
Pierre Salinger Hook, Line & Sinker award, Feb 2012

Author, Humorist, Cynic
Philosopher, Humanitarian
Poet, Elektrishun to the Stars
Usenet Shot-Caller           

In loving memory of The Battle Kitten
May 2010-February 12, 2017

"There are many here among us, 
who feel that life is but a joke."

"I am the author of nearly as much kook butthurt as 
kensi."    -Nadegda  
Message-ID: <pbg8ne$p9k$21@dont-email.me>

"People just submitted it ... I don't know why ... 
They 'trust me' ... dumb fucks."  -Mark Zuckerberg

"You can be unethical and still be legal that's the
 way I live my life."    -Mark Zuckerberg

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#486960 — Re: Natasha Lyonne's "Russian Doll".

Steve Carroll <fretwizzer@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Thursday, February 7, 2019 at 9:38:00 AM UTC-7, owl wrote:
>> Jeff-Relf.Me wrote:
>> > DFS:
>> >> Last I heard [JeffRelf] ballooned from 160 to 240; 
>> > 
>> > I've been 240 pounds for many years now ( 6ft, 59 years old ).
>> > 
>> 
>> That puts you midway between moderately obese and severely obese. 
>> 
>> https://chadnorwood.com/2008/04/25/weight-obesity-and-bmi/
>> 
>> Congratulations.
> 
> So... at 215 (6ft.) I'm on my way? I think I'd look like a rail at 183.

BMI doesn't differentiate between fat and muscle, so I wouldn't worry
unless you have manboobs like Relf and are thinking of picking up some
utility buckets at the hardware store.

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#486963 — Two 7 gallon VittlesVaults.

You (Owl) wrote:
> I wouldn't worry unless you have manboobs like Relf and are
> thinking of picking up some utility buckets at the hardware store.

Your girlfriend/wife is your PUNISHMENT for working out.

  I use two 7 gallon VittlesVaults because they keep a tight seal;
  Boraxo keeps the smell down.  I dump it once every five weeks,
  sealed in super thick, 45 gallon contractor bags.

  Everyone in the house knows about it, yet many of them
  still visit me frequently, here in my ( good smelling ) room.

  I have to clean other rooms, when people die or move out,
  and I can tell you ( with 100% certainty ),
  that some of them really do smell like outhouses.

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#486966 — Re: Two 7 gallon VittlesVaults.

On 2/7/2019 5:20 PM, Jeff-Relf.Me@. wrote:
> You (Owl) wrote:
>> I wouldn't worry unless you have manboobs like Relf and are
>> thinking of picking up some utility buckets at the hardware store.
> 
> Your girlfriend/wife is your PUNISHMENT for working out.
> 
>    I use two 7 gallon VittlesVaults because they keep a tight seal;
>    Boraxo keeps the smell down.  I dump it once every five weeks,
>    sealed in super thick, 45 gallon contractor bags.
> 
>    Everyone in the house knows about it, yet many of them
>    still visit me frequently, here in my ( good smelling ) room.
> 
>    I have to clean other rooms, when people die or move out,
>    and I can tell you ( with 100% certainty ),
>    that some of them really do smell like outhouses.



wtf dude - no indoor plumbing in your room/apt?  Anywhere in the bldg?

Do you literally squat over the VittleVault and shit?

I'm gonna puke.

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#486972 — Get rid of your "ball and chain".

You (DFS) replied:
> Two 7 gallon VittlesVaults, 45 gallon contractor bags.
> 
> wtf dude - no indoor plumbing in your room/apt ?

Yes, no plumbing in my room/unit.

> Anywhere in the bldg?

Outside of my room is a large kitchen and five bathrooms,
three of which have showers.

> Do you literally squat over the VittlesVault and shit ?

No, I can't do the Asian squat.

Sitting up, in bed, I piss into a 24 ounce measuring cup, 
then dump it into the VittlesVault.

In bed, I shit into a soup ladle; I clean it ( and myself ) 
with paper towels ( and a spoon, if needed ).

If my stool is too soft, or too frequent,
Pepto-Bismol slows it down and hardens it.

If my throat is irritated, or I'm stressed out,
so that I feel the need to cough, 
hard candy (LifeSavers) resolves the issue.

> I'm gonna puke.

Get rid of your "ball and chain", and you won't have such problems.

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#486981 — Re: Get rid of your "ball and chain".

On Thu, 07 Feb 2019 21:57:20 -0800, Jeff-Relf.Me wrote:

> You (DFS) replied:
>> Two 7 gallon VittlesVaults, 45 gallon contractor bags.
>> 
>> wtf dude - no indoor plumbing in your room/apt ?
> 
> Yes, no plumbing in my room/unit.
> 
>> Anywhere in the bldg?
> 
> Outside of my room is a large kitchen and five bathrooms,
> three of which have showers.
> 
>> Do you literally squat over the VittlesVault and shit ?
> 
> No, I can't do the Asian squat.
> 
> Sitting up, in bed, I piss into a 24 ounce measuring cup,
> then dump it into the VittlesVault.
> 
> In bed, I shit into a soup ladle; I clean it ( and myself )
> with paper towels ( and a spoon, if needed ).
> 
> If my stool is too soft, or too frequent,
> Pepto-Bismol slows it down and hardens it.
> 
> If my throat is irritated, or I'm stressed out,
> so that I feel the need to cough,
> hard candy (LifeSavers) resolves the issue.
> 
>> I'm gonna puke.
> 
> Get rid of your "ball and chain", and you won't have such problems.

You shit in a bucket?
No indoor plumbing?
Where do you live?



-- 
Ratchet Jaw
The Locked and Loaded Jew

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#486982 — Re: Get rid of your "ball and chain".

Ratchetjaw wrote:

>On Thu, 07 Feb 2019 21:57:20 -0800, Jeff-Relf.Me wrote:

*plonk*

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