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Re: This morning's crap idea.

From ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>)
Newsgroups rec.arts.sf.written
Subject Re: This morning's crap idea.
Date 2015-08-21 03:26 +0000
Organization loft
Message-ID <d3nk3pFbg7rU1@mid.individual.net> (permalink)
References <mr2cek$4kn$1@dont-email.me> <mr4ofr$j1$1@dont-email.me> <vg2ctap1g27nig0k3908ovpl1kpu1ejr3m@reader80.eternal-september.org> <55d67c65$0$1709$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net>

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In article <55d67c65$0$1709$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net>,
Dimensional Traveler  <dtravel@sonic.net> wrote:
>On 8/20/2015 10:12 AM, Lawrence Watt-Evans wrote:
>> On Thu, 20 Aug 2015 10:35:08 -0400, William Vetter
>> <mdhangton@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Ted Nolantednolan> wrote:
>>>> In article <mr4m4l$m62$1@dont-email.me>,
>>>> William Vetter  <mdhangton@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Dorothy J Heydt wrote:
>>>>>> In article <20150819b@crcomp.net>, Don Kuenz  <garbage@crcomp.net> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Dorothy J Heydt <djheydt@kithrup.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>> In article <mr2f0d$f46$1@dont-email.me>,
>>>>>>>> William Vetter  <mdhangton@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> Dorothy J Heydt wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> In article <mr2cek$4kn$1@dont-email.me>,
>>>>>>>>>> William Vetter  <mdhangton@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>> Has there ever been a story published where a lousy SF author
>>>>>>>>>>> time-travels back to the Golden Age to throw his trunk stories over
>>>>>>>>>>> the transom and into a 1930's slushpile?
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> There's something like it, a story by Harry Turtledove, let me
>>>>>>>>>> look up the title.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> "Hindsight" also appears under the pseudonym Eric G Iverson in Analog
>>>>>>> Science Fiction/Science Fact, Mid-December 1984. "Hindsight" reminds me
>>>>>>> of "Bob Dylan, Troy Jonson, and the Speed Queen" by F Paul Wilson.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> The travelers in both stories take rock music records and turntables
>>>>>>> back with them in time. And both travelers plagiarize future works.
>>>>>>> "Hindsight" has literature stolen while "Bob Dylan" has music stolen.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> The motives of the travelers also differ. "Hindsight" wants to save the
>>>>>>> world, while "Bob Dylan" wants to be a rock star. Here's some dialog
>>>>>>> from "Hindsight" for the lulz.
>>>>>>>         A couple of people were already waiting by the post
>>>>>>>     office boxes, and several more came in after Pete and
>>>>>>>     McGregor. "They can't *all* be writers," Pete whispered
>>>>>>>     behind his hand.
>>>>>>>         The editor rolled his eyes. "You'd be amazed."
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Heh.  I can believe it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Not *selling* writers, but *attempting* writers.
>>>>>
>>>>> I think that editors like to buy this sort of thing, that talks about
>>>>> their lives, but I'm not sure readers want to see it particularly.  A
>>>>> lot of stuff like this appears in small press magazines...the editor
>>>>> suffers under a curse that forces her to read all the slush, things
>>>>> like that.
>>>>
>>>> FWIF, I think the story was in a "Kelvin Throop" issue of Analog.
>>>
>>> The curse one I think of was in 1990's Fantastic or Weird Tales or
>>> Absolute Magnitude or one of those, and I think the title was even
>>> "Slush," but there are a lot when the slushpile comes alive and
>>> attacks, something like that.
>>
>> The attacking slushpile was in "It Came from the Slushpile."  Don't
>> remember where it first appeared.
>>
>The slush pile, obviously.  :P
>

Come to think of it, I put a few slushpile licks into _Hell On High_:



     The demon smirked knowingly.  "Welcome," he  said,  "to
     the  Library of Lost Books.  I am Lucien, your guide to
     the stacks.  How may I assist you?"

     Rhea looked at Jack and shrugged.  It  was  up  to  him
     then:   There  was very little that didn't interest him
     at least somewhat, but they were on a day  trip  not  a
     camping expedition.  First things first.  "Science fic-
     tion," he said, "from the last two hundred years."

     "Very good," Lucien said and steepled  his  fingers  in
     thought for a moment.  "This way please."

     They had entered through the doors in what  Jack  still
     thought of as first gear.  The demon lead them south to
     the central corridor, then east towards the last  wing.
     He  didn't offer any running commentary, in fact didn't
     look back at them at all.  Jack and Rhea were  left  to
     make what guesses they could about all the statuary and
     exhibits they passed in the spacious hallway.  "Fertil-
     ity goddess?"  Jack speculated about a blatantly immod-
     est little  statue  perched  lustily  on  an  otherwise
     somber table.

     "Or  a  prehistoric  business  card,"  Rhea  responded.
     "Maybe  the  glyphs  on  the tummy say For a good time,
     call Basheeba, third cave on the left past the mastodon
     skeleton. 'I'll make you Homo Errectus'.

     As they left the sections of  rock  carvings  and  clay
     tablets,  the smell of musty paper and parchment gradu-
     ally became overpowering.  It seemed to Jack that  they
     had  been  walking much further than was possible given
     what he had seen of  the  building  from  the  outside.
     "TARDIS," he murmured to Rhea.

     "What?"

     "Time And Relative Dimension in Space.  It's bigger  on
     the inside."  He considered.  "Like my mother's pocket-
     book."

     Finally Lucien brought them to the end of the hall, and
     ushered  them  north  into  the  fifth gear area.  They
     passed countless rows of  shelves  arrayed  with  every
     type  of  book, from leather-bound Victorian volumes to
     CD-ROMS and chips.  Their guide opened the  door  to  a
     side  room and waved them ahead.  "We have arrived," he
     said.

     Jack looked around.  The  room  was  divided  into  two
     parts by a center aisle.  Across the aisle to the left,
     poorly lighted shelves stretched on almost as far as he
     could  see,  while to the right a compact group of well
     lighted, dust free shelves beckoned invitingly.

     "What's the difference," Rhea  asked  pointing  to  the
     left.

     Lucien took off his  glasses  and  wiped  them  medita-
     tively.  "Those books are lost because they were unpub-
     lishable, unsubmitted or didn't find the right editor."

     "My God," Jack said, "It's the grand, cumulative slush-
     pile of SF!"

     Rhea grabbed his arm.  "Be afraid," she said, "be  very
     afraid."

     "Indeed," Lucien agreed, "It's the largest such for any
     of  our genres.  Seemingly of every two people who read
     science fiction, one of them has a bad book to  contri-
     bute to it."

     Fascinated, Jack walked to the first shelf  and  picked
     up  a  dusty  folder.  Inside, the cover page was dated
     May 7 1843 in precise early Victorian handwriting.   He
     turned to the last page and read: Whereat the man said,
     'Good lady, I call myself Adam.  And how might  I  pol-
     itely  address  myself  to  you?   Upon which words the
     woman responded, 'Good sir, I have no other  name  than
     Eve.

     Jack shuddered and put the  manuscript  down.   "Not  a
     book that should be put aside lightly," he quoted, "but
     rather one which should be hurled with great force."

     "And on the other side?" Rhea asked.

     "Books by known authors," Lucien said, "or  good  ones.
     Lost  due to fire, war, the post or what have you.  Not
     nearly as big a set."  He put his glasses back  on  and
     settled  them firmly on his nose.  The lenses magnified
     his distinctly demonic square pupils.  "Now  then,"  he
     said,  "there  is  a bell pull in the wall by the door.
     Do pull it when you are done here, and I  shall  escort
     you out, but for now I must attend to other business."

     "Thank you," Jack said automatically.

     "No thanks are necessary," the demon said  primly,  and
     disappeared with a puff of imploding air.

     "Well," Rhea said, looking around, "I  guess  we're  on
     our own."

     Jack was  already  rifling  through  the  good  stacks.
     "Yep," he agreed happily.  "Hey!"  he pulled a book and
     leafed through it rapidly,  then  turned  back  to  the
     first  page  and  started reading.  Before long, he was
     chuckling, then laughing out loud.

     Rhea moved to look over his shoulder.   "What  is  it?"
     she asked.

     "It's the sequel to The Witches of Karres," Jack  said.
     The  one  Schmitz  lost  when  he  moved.  See what the
     Leewit does here?"   He  pointed,  and  soon  Rhea  was
     laughing  too.   He put the book aside with regret:  So
     little time.  One day he, or  someone,  would  have  to
     come in with a scanner.
-- 
------
columbiaclosings.com
What's not in Columbia anymore..

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This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-19 12:57 -0400
  Re: This morning's crap idea. Shawn Wilson <ikonoqlast@gmail.com> - 2015-08-19 10:04 -0700
    Re: This morning's crap idea. Kay Shapero <kay@invalid.net> - 2015-08-19 23:40 -0700
  Re: This morning's crap idea. petertrei@gmail.com - 2015-08-19 10:07 -0700
    Re: This morning's crap idea. djheydt@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) - 2015-08-19 17:16 +0000
  Re: This morning's crap idea. djheydt@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) - 2015-08-19 17:11 +0000
    Re: This morning's crap idea. petertrei@gmail.com - 2015-08-19 10:17 -0700
    Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-19 13:40 -0400
      Re: This morning's crap idea. Don Bruder <dakidd@sonic.net> - 2015-08-19 11:22 -0700
        Re: This morning's crap idea. Dimensional Traveler <dtravel@sonic.net> - 2015-08-19 17:19 -0700
      Re: This morning's crap idea. djheydt@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) - 2015-08-19 20:06 +0000
        Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-19 16:35 -0400
        Re: This morning's crap idea. Don Kuenz <garbage@crcomp.net> - 2015-08-20 04:35 +0000
          Re: This morning's crap idea. djheydt@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) - 2015-08-20 13:44 +0000
            Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-20 09:55 -0400
              Re: This morning's crap idea. ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2015-08-20 14:26 +0000
                Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-20 10:35 -0400
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Lawrence Watt-Evans <lwe@sff.net> - 2015-08-20 13:12 -0400
                Re: This morning's crap idea. "Brian M. Scott" <b.scott@csuohio.edu> - 2015-08-20 14:01 -0400
                Re: This morning's crap idea. "Michael R N Dolbear" <me@privacy.net> - 2015-08-21 00:48 +0100
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Dimensional Traveler <dtravel@sonic.net> - 2015-08-20 18:18 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2015-08-21 03:26 +0000
              Re: This morning's crap idea. Kevrob <kevrob@my-deja.com> - 2015-08-20 08:29 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Don Kuenz <garbage@crcomp.net> - 2015-08-20 19:09 +0000
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Kevrob <kevrob@my-deja.com> - 2015-08-20 13:23 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Don Kuenz <garbage@crcomp.net> - 2015-08-20 23:19 +0000
              Re: This morning's crap idea. Richard Hershberger <rrhersh@gmail.com> - 2015-08-20 08:29 -0700
              Re: This morning's crap idea. Kay Shapero <kay@invalid.net> - 2015-08-20 16:34 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Don Bruder <dakidd@sonic.net> - 2015-08-20 18:41 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Jerry Brown <jerry@jwbrown.co.uk.invalid> - 2015-08-21 18:31 +0100
                Re: This morning's crap idea. goldfarb@ocf.berkeley.edu (David Goldfarb) - 2015-08-22 06:58 +0000
                Re: This morning's crap idea. djheydt@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) - 2015-08-22 13:46 +0000
                Re: This morning's crap idea. "Sea Wasp (Ryk E. Spoor)" <seawasp@sgeinc.invalid.com> - 2015-08-22 10:27 -0400
                Re: This morning's crap idea. David Harmon <source@netcom.com> - 2015-08-22 16:04 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Kevrob <kevrob@my-deja.com> - 2015-08-22 16:30 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Shawn Wilson <ikonoqlast@gmail.com> - 2015-08-22 16:36 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Kevrob <kevrob@my-deja.com> - 2015-08-22 17:53 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Shawn Wilson <ikonoqlast@gmail.com> - 2015-08-23 14:56 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Robert Carnegie <rja.carnegie@excite.com> - 2015-08-23 07:55 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Kevrob <kevrob@my-deja.com> - 2015-08-23 08:00 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. wdstarr@panix.com (William December Starr) - 2015-08-24 08:37 -0400
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Robert Carnegie <rja.carnegie@excite.com> - 2015-08-24 07:35 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. djheydt@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt) - 2015-08-23 00:47 +0000
                Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-23 14:42 -0400
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Kevrob <kevrob@my-deja.com> - 2015-08-23 13:13 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-23 16:54 -0400
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Ahasuerus <ahasuerus@email.com> - 2015-08-23 14:06 -0700
                Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-23 17:19 -0400
                Re: This morning's crap idea. Cryptoengineer <treifamily@gmail.com> - 2015-08-22 20:11 -0500
  Re: This morning's crap idea. "Sea Wasp (Ryk E. Spoor)" <seawasp@sgeinc.invalid.com> - 2015-08-19 17:46 -0400
    Re: This morning's crap idea. ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2015-08-20 00:23 +0000
    Re: This morning's crap idea. Jack Bohn <jack.bohn64@gmail.com> - 2015-08-20 10:01 -0700
      Re: This morning's crap idea. goldfarb@ocf.berkeley.edu (David Goldfarb) - 2015-08-21 08:24 +0000
  Re: This morning's crap idea. wdstarr@panix.com (William December Starr) - 2015-08-19 20:34 -0400
    Re: This morning's crap idea. Greg Goss <gossg@gossg.org> - 2015-08-19 20:59 -0600
      Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-20 10:00 -0400
        Re: This morning's crap idea. Gene Wirchenko <genew@telus.net> - 2015-08-20 22:25 -0700
          Re: This morning's crap idea. ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2015-08-21 05:40 +0000
          Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-21 11:21 -0400
  Re: This morning's crap idea. Robert Carnegie <rja.carnegie@excite.com> - 2015-08-20 15:24 -0700
  Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-08-27 15:40 -0400
  Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-10-19 10:37 -0400
    Re: This morning's crap idea. ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2015-10-19 14:45 +0000
      Re: This morning's crap idea. Don Bruder <dakidd@sonic.net> - 2015-10-19 07:52 -0700
    Re: This morning's crap idea. Walter Bushell <proto@panix.com> - 2015-10-19 17:19 -0400
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        Re: This morning's crap idea. William Vetter <mdhangton@gmail.com> - 2015-10-20 01:02 -0400
        Re: This morning's crap idea. leif.roar@dimnakorr.com - 2015-10-20 03:52 -0500
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