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Re: <FWD>: Vote! Usenet Kook Awards, July 2012

Cross-posted to 5 groups.

Followups directed to: alt.usenet.kooks

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On Wed, 01 Aug 2012 18:09:35 GMT, This account has been banned becaus 
wrote:
> From: This account has been banned because it violated the Google
> Groups Terms Of Use <laughing@u.kook>
> 
> Howdy, readers of alt.suicide.holiday, comp.lang.java.programmer,
> alt.free.newsservers, sci.math, and rec.arts.poetry!

Howdy, off-topic crossposting troll!

> And boy, has the One and True Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler of
> alt.usenet.kooks put together the Mother Of All Ballots together for
> July 2012!

Yes; it's at <jvafsv$h1h$1@news.mixmin.net>

> Unchallenged for the Kook of The Month is Paul "Two-Socks" Derbyshire,
> a kook known to many of you as "Seamus MacRae" and "thoolen" - as well
> as having other multiple fake personalities which, oddly enough, all
> have their own Usenet accounts.  With that many dirty socks lying
> around the house, wouldn't you hate to be Paul's mother on laundry
> day?  As Alex Cain's mother can surely attest, especially since Dink is
> up for the Order of The Holey Sockpuppet Award.

Nice delusion, kooky. But the July ballot actually has a nymshifting twit 
known variously as murphy, Flash, News in Service, phlatArse, and 194 or 
more other nyms as its sole serious Kook of the Month contender. You may 
know him from his recent activity as Citizen Kane, Hydra Blanket, Hydra 
Blanky, _kookmeister_, NT_WAR, CastAlone, Godfrey, and several other 
nyms, and from a blubbery, semi-literate posting style and tendency to 
obsessively chant the name "Derbyshire".

> But back to Paul - he's been busy kooking out this month, since he's
> also up for the Looney Maroon, the Bolo Bullis Foam Duck,  the Goofy
> Azzed Babboon, and the Global Village Pump Awards.  Can he add these
> trophies to his Clueless Newbie of the Month Award, which he won as
> Seamus MacRae?

More delusion. Nobody named Paul is up for any of those or has won CNoTM, 
even under the old superseded awards. However, murphy is up for Loony 
Maroon, Foam Duck, and numerous other awards, and just *won* a Goofy 
Azzed Baboon, that one for the month of June.

> Meanwhile, Mittens The Anonypussy (AKA [Tard] Phoenix, AKA the
> Fake<SLAP>

Phoenix is FNVW.

> one of the most spanked kooks in the history of AUK and Paul
> Derbyshire's running-mate for the Ministry Of Circle Jerks, faces
> recognition for stinking up the joint in the form of The Busted Urinal
> Award.

More delusions. There's no Paul Derbyshire here and the Busted Urinal 
nominees for July are:

Aratzio
Fred Hall
The Republican Party of the United States of America

Notably, murphy won Busted Urinal in June along with Goofy Azzed Baboon.

> It's expected that [Tard] The Pussy will mount a strong challenge to
> Albatross, the Stalker's Stalker, for the Kluck Lysaght "Tar &
> Feathers" Award.  Who will win this sudden death play-off?

Wrong again. Albatross's opposition for Tar and Feathers is ... murphy 
again.

> And speaking of sudden death - in other awards, William Melchert
> Dinkel, the killer nurse from alt.suicide.holiday, lost his court
> appeal and so 'Lio Dao' is up for the Balsa Gavel Award - guess the
> price of speech when talking people into killing themselves isn't so
> free after all, eh, Bill?

The Balsa Gavel nominee was known on Usenet a Camay D and is on the 
ballot under that name. Outerfilthing is now largely forbidden, Account 
Banned, or did you forget that?

> Lastly and by no means leastly (said the tigerlilly), the denizens of
> AUK have sought to recognize Steve Crook of Mixmin.net with a merit
> award, for his dedication to dealing with abuse of the internet, in the
> form of The Hammer of Thor.

Hammer of Thor nominees on July's ballot:

Emmett Gulley (diamond HoT)
thoolen/"Murphy Foam Detoxification Squad"
Phoenix

Of these the only serious contender is Phoenix.

> New to voting?  http://blackhelicopternews.blogspot.com/p/how-to-
> vote.html shows you how.

Outdated website. The instructions are posted at the top of the Offishul 
Ballot itself, at the message-ID near the top of my response.

> On a final note - beware of imitations;

How ironic.

> genuine AUK ballots and Vote Wrangers originate only from DataBasix
> accounts.

Wrong. Craig Dickson, the vote wrangler from 1994, is among the many that 
have not originated from DataBasix accounts:

Path: nntp.gmd.de!Germany.EU.net!EU.net!howland.reston.ans.net!
europa.eng.gtefsd.com!hookup!decwrl!nntp.crl.com!crl.crl.com!not-for-mail
From: c...@crl.com (Craig Dickson)
Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks
Subject: Re: Craig Dickson
Date: 8 Nov 1994 22:11:12 -0800
Organization: KotM Enterprises
Lines: 13
Message-ID: <39pp60$i9s@crl.crl.com>
References: <39m10b$36v@news.duke.edu> <39nt45$p5p@erinews.ericsson.se>
NNTP-Posting-Host: crl.com

'73 Chevy Pickup writes:

|So thats how the secret Usenet cabal have kept their plotting so safe 
from 
|the prying keyboards of the wider net community over the years: pencil, 
paper
|and a stamp.  Unhackable.  
|
|The devious bastards.

Whoops, they're onto us. (Darnit, Joel, you've blown the whole game!)
-- 
Craig Dickson <c...@crl.com>
alt.usenet.kooks archives on the Web: ftp://ftp.crl.com/users/ro/cd/
auk.html
To receive the a.u.k FAQ, send me email with Subject: send 
alt.usenet.kooks FAQ

(cut'n'pasted from Google Groups)

> Happy voting, and may the best(?) k00k win!!1!!!

You, of course, are up for quite a few awards yourself, making that 
declaration of yours also rather ironic.

[snip fake ballot]

The one true ballot is at <jvafsv$h1h$1@news.mixmin.net>.

Happy voting! Be sure to throw a few votes at the delusional twit Account 
Banned.

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<FWD>: Vote!  Usenet Kook Awards, July 2012 "This account has been banned becaus" <this.account.has.been.banned.becaus@1:261/38.remove-s5i-this> - 2012-08-01 18:09 +0000
  Re: <FWD>: Vote!  Usenet Kook Awards, July 2012 Nadegda <nad318b404@gmail.invalid> - 2012-08-02 03:15 +0000
    Paul Derbyshire campaigns harder for his awards! <was Re: <FWD>: Vote!  Usenet Kook Awards, July 2012 This account has been banned because it violated the Google Groups Terms Of Use <laughing@u.kook> - 2012-08-02 06:48 +0000

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