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Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update])

Cross-posted to 5 groups.

Followups directed to: alt.dev.null

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On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 03:28:58 +0000, murphy wrote:

> http://www.searchlores.org/way_kook.htm

THE WAY OF THE K00K

* Never learn from your mistakes.

How many times have you been told you're wrong, paranoid, off-topic, 
ranting, or so forth, murphy? How many times have you showed any sign of 
learning better?

* Always practice your mistakes; you may get them right.

How many times have you continued after being corrected, murphy?

* Always pick on those smarter and tougher than you.

Well, below you're admitting that you're beaten by this "Derbysh!re" 
person, so I guess you did that too, murphy.

* Always believe that only you know the TRVTH.

You've been trumpeting constantly about how you're the one with the 
"know", and everyone else is a fool for not listening.

* Never allow logic or reason get in the way of a good k00k.

And you, murphy, never have, have you?

* When being overwhelmed by logic and reason: k00ksuit!

This one you've avoided, murphy, so far as I am aware.

* If you are going to be wrong, do it at the top of your lungs.

But you never disappoint on that score, murphy. Huge, rambling, massively-
crossposted rants chock full of spelling, grammatical, and factual errors 
and random use of caps must surely count as doing it at the top of your 
lungs.

* When caught in a lie: LIE!

And of course you, murphy, have been a pathological liar, if not simply 
delusional.

* When in doubt: Order the Crab Won Ton

I don't get it.

* Plagiarism is your friend. Use it.

Not aware of you doing that one either, murphy.

* Whenever contradicted; morph, start calling people names, and make
  false accusations.

You must be the all time world champion at this, though, murphy. What 
names have you called people? "Junior", "fuckhaid", "k00k", and so 
forth...and you signed off with a list of some of your past nyms (uff has 
more):

> "murphy"+"news in service"+"Flash®"+Vinny Lingiari's Cousin +"wu®m"
> 	2003 - 2011			[all formerly - phlatArse (pA)]

And as for false accusations, this single post of yours to comp.* groups 
is a sterling example of the genre.

* Post numerous blank posts, or posts containing only a message id.

Unfortunately, your k00kery never tended towards that; you prefer 
ridiculously long posts full of barely-coherent paranoia instead.

* Post numerous copy&paste web articles from crackerpot websites.

How many times have you included copy&paste emails and usenet posts that, 
at least allegedly, you received or saw posted somewhere and that, at 
least allegedly, "prove" one of your paranoid accusations? Not to mention 
links of various sorts that you also claim do so.

* Never forget to call k00kologists "k00ks."

And indeed you never did, murphy. In particular several people who have 
exposed, or just plain criticized, you have been called that by you.

* If there are several, call them "sockpuppets" too

World champion again, murphy; you've taken pretty much *everyone on 
Usenet* that has *ever* disagreed with you and called them all 
sockpuppets. The very article you just posted claimed that no fewer than 
FIFTY-FIVE usenetters were sockpuppets of one another! Quite possibly a 
Guinness record ... k00k.

* Quote notorious scientists or writers - it makes it look as if they
  approve the drivel you are writing!

Does (mis)quoting news admins count?

* Ignore all traffic signs and feel free to trespass, you don't have to
  obey any rules.

For example, you posting this thread to comp.lang.java.programmer, 
comp.lang.java.help, and comp.lang.lisp when it self-evidently has 
nothing to do with either Java or Lisp.

* Scare your enemies with lawsuits, police escorts and whines.

Whines, yes. "I don't fskn believe it!" in response to a news admin 
refusing to kick a subscriber merely upon your say-so certainly seems to 
qualify. I'm unaware of lawsuit or police threats from you, though, 
murphy.

* Always back up your empty (albeit noisy) threats with phony LARTs(1),

Another one for which you have champion standing, murphy. Lots and lots 
of claims that someone-or-other is about to lose their usenet access. 
Funny how every single time the person you're threatening continues 
posting to usenet, though, hmm?

  false police reports, and harassing letters to the FBI and other
  gubbermint agencies.

Not aware of any of these from you, but false complaints to news 
providers? You betcha.

* Be vigilant in your redundancy. The more you repeat yourself, the more
  likely others will believe you!

Murphy, of course, being the bronze medallist in this particular category 
of the k00klympics (the silver and gold rightly belong to * US * in the 
politics groups and to tholen in comp.os.os2.advocacy, respectively).

How many times has he been repeating his anti-Derbyshire screeds, in 
particular? Hundreds? A couple thousand?

* If you can't find anyone as crazy as yourself to support you in the
  flamewars you start with the normal population, create sock puppets and
  use anonymous remailers that shamelessly hang on every word you write.
  The more your fake personalities adulate you, the more respect you'll
  get!

Would "Felching Google" and "Frenz of THAT WURM" in news.software.readers 
count as such sock puppets, murphy? ;)

* Always remain clueproof.

As soon as the clue-proof vest was invented, murphy bought one.

* When responding to one line challenges, post paragraphs of rants and
  screed in response.

Murphy is the gold medallist in the "paragraphs of rants and screed" 
category, natch.

* Incoherency is not a roadblock to poasting(2).

Another gold.

* Neither is illiteracy.

And another. Read any three murphy posts and it's clear how he fits these 
last two categories to a 'T'.

* Delusions poasted often enough become fact.

Wow, the golds are really racking up. Australia is a shoo-in for the most 
k00klympics medals, just from this one single allegedly-retiring athlete 
of theirs!

* Claim you will destroy <insert newsfroup(3)> for attacking you.

Does it count if you claim that an all-powerful arch-nemesis of yours is 
bent on destroying newsgroups (and/or all of Usenet, depending on how (il)
lucid you are at any given moment) and will succeed if your demands are 
not immediately heeded?

* When spnaked(4), send cmsg(5) for Fanboi(6) newsfroup(s).

Does trying to create anti-fan newsgroups for your alleged enemies count?

* Find your Lame, Use your Lame, Be your Lame!

If you look up "lame" in the dictionary, you'll probably find a picture 
of murphy.

* Post Edit when the TRVTH hurts.

Remember "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"? And "[ret fxd]"? Those are things 
you often replace the ends of lines in quoted posts with, usually 
obliterating a crucial claim made against you by a critic.

* Always sneck(7) the offending newsfroups.

Does silent followup redirection, usually to alt.free.newsservers, 
aioe.news.helpdesk, or news.admin.net-abuse.usenet count, murphy?

* Always poast pictures of yourself so you can be admired in all your
  k00ky glory.

As uuencodes posted into text newsgroups, natch.

* Always accuse others of the very acts you are guilty of.

You posting the URL to this list of k00k traits being a prime example, 
murphy. (Does the metaness of the irony in this instance make it 
tangentially on-topic in comp.lang.lisp?)

Then there's the fact that most of the noise in the newsgroup 
alt.free.newsservers consists of a) murphy complaining about noise in afn 
and b) followups to same.

* Post lots of boasts about your high IQ and incredible talents.

If stalking, harassment, and having racked up "scalps" by counting the 
number of other usenetters you've made miserable qualify as "talents", 
then you're guilty of boasts, too, murphy.

* Always <plonk>(8) somebody just before replying the plonkee!

What about claiming to be leaving Usenet forever, then coming back as 
another morph instead? You've done that quite a few times.

* Write a self-published book and claim it a success. Bonus points for
  comparing it to "Mein Kampf" and/or the Bible.

I'm not aware that you've done this one.

* Declare yourself equal to a deity of your choice.

Or this one.

* Claim that you've come from other planets.

Or this one.

* Claim thousands of past lives.

Does serial nymshifting count?

* Frothing complaints carry far more weight when you send them from
  "legal@" some domain.

Unaware of murphy doing this, alas.

* Nothing strikes terror into the hearts of your detractors more than
  telling them that you're archiving their messages for possible use in
  the future.

On the other hand, murphy wins another gold k00klympics medal in the much-
anticipated "archive-of-terror" event!

* Never forget that everyone else posting to Usenet is a paid
  disinformation agent looking to discredit you.

Did murphy's paranoia go quite that far?

* Usenet is governed by US law. If a poster in Romania killfiles you,
  he's obviously violating your 1st Amendment rights and can be sued.

Not aware of that level of silliness from murphy -- on the other hand, 
various antinational bigotries from murphy have been evident.

* Every news admin in the world hangs out in NANAU(9), and they're just
  dying to nuke the account of that meanyhead who just called you
  "fucknozzle". Drop 'em a line - that's what they're there for, after
  all.

Is there any chance the judges of the k00klympics can be persuaded to add 
a special "platinum medal" for spectacular overachievement in an event?

* AUK(10) will be closed down. Just you wait and see.

Not sure if murphy can be considered to "win" in this category. He hung 
out there for a while, then it kinda did get closed down as an eventual 
result of a defamation lawsuit and has not been the same since.

* They've nuked hundreds of accounts in the name of free speech and
  *yours* will be next.

Another gold. Murphy even claims that it's in the interests of free 
speech, specifically, that he goes around bullying and threatening people.

* Abuse women while telling how many hundreds you've loved. Nevermind
  that you're one ugly motherfucker and that there were 30,000 femininas
  that thought you were a scumbag with bad teeth.

No evidence that murphy can get any medals in this category, fortunately 
for the women of the world.

* Remember that your ko0ky klaims are 'facts', and that 'facts' do not
  require proof.

I think we're now out of gold to make murphy's medals from. Will copper 
do as a substitute?

* Do not neglect to poast your responses to forums that the originator
  doesn't read. This will make the people in that forum very impressed
  with how you tear him to shreds without him being able to respond. They
  like it even better if you are off-topic for that forum.

I think I'm investing heavily in copper futures. I foresee a sudden 
shortage soon.

* Keep in mind that lack of evidence supporting your konspiracy theory
  actually _is_ evidence, of how effective the konspiracy is in hiding.

Is claiming that lack of action by news admins is evidence of their 
stupidity sufficient here? Or does murphy lose this k00klympic event on a 
technicality? Judges, your ruling, please...

*  Any problems with your poasts are the fault of the konspirators, who
   are trying to stop you from preventing the extinction of humanity.

Is "the destruction of Usenet" enough, or does it *have* to be "the 
extinction of humanity"?

* Konspiracies that are able to subvert whole governments are always
  unable to silence konspiracy ko0ks.

Similarly, a Derbyshire that's able to subvert whole news servers is 
always unable to silence a single murphy, even one posting from those 
same news servers.

* The entire United States government is willing to spend millions of
  dollars for the sole purpose of harassing you.

Not sure if murphy's paranoia has progressed this far yet.

* Hollywood is making movies based on your personal life.

Or this far.

* Do not consult psychiatrists or other mental health professionals. They
  are part of the konspiracy, and will sedate you and lock you away and
  keep you drugged if you tell them the truth.

The ironic thing here is that the paranoid k00k is probably right. Yet 
this stops him getting the help he so desperately needs.

* Numerology and Astrology are respectable sciences and are useful for
  proving your case.

Does posting elaborate analyses of IP addresses (or even hashed NNTP-
Posting-Host or X-Trace headers) in an attempt to divine who's a sock of 
who count as "numerology"? (If so, then we may need to expand the 
k00klympics playing fields to make room for vast numbers of RIAA and MPAA 
lawyers, too. You know, those guys who sent a DMCA takedown to a laser 
printer whose IP was submitted to a torrent tracker but wasn't, 
obviously, hosting any files, and who have also harassed operators of 
open WiFi nodes?)

* Everyone is Tim Hill, or David Green, or...

Paul Derbyshire?

* There is a fine line between trolling and kookery. Find that line and
  cross it repeatedly. When you are killfiled and/or LARTed for net.abuse
  as a result, claim victory. If you lose multiple accounts, this merely
  proves that you are indeed a world-class troll, with a black-belt in
  manipulation.

The one thing murphy hasn't done, to my knowledge, is claim victory. And 
when he's been LARTed he's denied it (and quickly gotten a new account at 
the same provider -- don't they check for that???).

* If you respond to every post someone else makes, they're obsessed. If
  they respond to less than 1% of your posts, they're even more obsessed.

And if 90% of your posts reference them, whoever they are in direct 
response to, *you're* obsessed.

* Publishing people's real names, addresses, and phone numbers when
  there's no other way for you to come out of a flamewar with any dignity
  is cool, and proves that you are a master of secret internet
  information stores, and absolutely not to be fucked with.

Time to open a platinum mine. I think the k00klympics committee will be 
needing this precious metal in quantity, soon. I could get rich!

* Everyone is out to get you. You can put a stop to this by telling
  everyone that they're out to get you at every available opportunity.

My copper mine is running dry now.

* You are the only sane one.

It's completely played out now.

* Those that give you a hard time about morally bankrupt things you
  yourself admit to are just persecutioners of the new inquisition.

Like when you trashed Movable Hype in aioe.news.helpdesk for exposing one 
of your forgeries, and then added him to your list of members of the 
Derbyshire Konspiracy?

* Yelling in all caps and cursing at your detractors is debate.

I seem to recall some use of caps and a *lot* of "fukhaid" and similar 
invective in the murphy posts I've seen; the phlatArse posts from 2008 
are even clearer examples, literally dribbling with scatological and 
sexual expletives.

* Your detractors laughing at you with sarcastic remarks is obvious anger
  and jealousy.

And of course they're all part of the Konspiracy, right, murphy?

* If doing something results in the loss of your account, legal hassles,
  or blunt trauma injury, do it again. It always works better the second
  time.

Not sure of murphy having been quite *that* badly pwn3d...

* Asterisks, lots and lots of Asterisks.

I hope the bullets in my transcription of your list don't count.

* Poking holes in kookscreed is stalking, and is a felony.

Or at least evidence of being part of the Derbyshire Konspiracy, right, 
murphy?

* K00ks LOVE to "connect the dots". They are, of course, dots that only
  the k00k can see.

Platinum mine now open for business.

* "They laughed at Einstein, too!"

One more where murphy fails to enter the event, for mysterious reasons.

Let's tally it up, shall we?

Out of seventy events in the k00klympics, murphy either didn't enter or 
failed to place in 14. In the other 4/5 he medalled, as follows:

18 bronze medals.
12 silver medals.
23 gold/copper medals.
And we had to add platinum medals for breaking all-time world records by 
huge margins, which murphy won in no fewer than three events.

I think we can safely crown murphy the all-time champion k00k at this 
point!

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Thread

[update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... THE absurdity installed by "Wolfgang M. Weyand" <wolf@eternal-september.org>[Paul G Derbyshire Usenet Presence August 2011] "murphy" <grvtuenu@debbil.hunt.org.invalid> - 2011-09-12 03:28 +0000
  Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... THE absurdity installed by "Wolfgang M. Weyand" <wolf@eternal-september.org>[Paul G Derbyshire Usenet Presence August 2011] thoolen <tholen01@gmail.com> - 2011-09-11 21:46 -0700
  Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) Deeyana <d.awlberg@hotmail.invalid> - 2011-09-12 05:54 +0000
    Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) "Deeyana" <d.awlberg@hotmail.invalid> - 2011-09-12 06:54 +0000
      Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) thoolen <tholen01@gmail.com> - 2011-09-12 04:40 -0700
        Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) "thoolen" <th00len@th0lenbot.thorium> - 2011-09-12 08:46 -0400
          Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) thoolen <tholen01@gmail.com> - 2011-09-12 21:02 -0700
        Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-12 15:25 -0700
          Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) thoolen <tholen01@gmail.com> - 2011-09-12 20:37 -0700
      Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-12 15:18 -0700
        Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) Deeyana <d.awlberg@hotmail.invalid> - 2011-09-13 00:42 +0000
      Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) Deeyana <d.awlberg@hotmail.invalid> - 2011-09-13 00:46 +0000
        Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) Deeyana <d.awlberg@hotmail.invalid> - 2011-09-13 00:48 +0000
          Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-19 15:27 -0700
            Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) Deeyana <d.awlberg@hotmail.invalid> - 2011-09-22 00:18 +0000
              Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn. (was Re: [update]) "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-21 19:47 -0700
          Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn.(was Re: [update]) "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-19 15:40 -0700
            Re: Ten years ago today, bin Laden destroyed America. All mourn.(was Re: [update]) thoolen <tholen01@gmail.com> - 2011-09-26 15:29 -0700
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                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-09-27 11:22 -0400
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-27 11:56 -0700
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-09-28 07:07 -0400
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                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-09-28 10:41 -0400
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-28 15:17 -0700
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-09-29 08:28 -0400
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-29 11:00 -0700
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-09-29 21:09 -0400
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-09-30 08:31 -0700
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-09-30 17:30 -0400
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-11-04 16:46 -0700
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-11-04 20:08 -0400
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA dizzy <dizzy@nospam.invalid> - 2011-11-05 08:00 -0500
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-11-05 11:30 -0400
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-11-10 15:24 -0800
                Re: If it's electronic, it's not your ballot. * US * - 2011-11-12 06:59 -0500
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA Four of Seventeen <fseventeen@gmail.com> - 2011-11-07 08:54 -0800
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA * US * - 2011-11-08 09:09 -0500
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-11-10 15:35 -0800
                Re: No OS is suitable for use in elections. * US * - 2011-11-12 06:59 -0500
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA "tholen@antispam.ham" <tholen@ifa.hawaii.edu> - 2011-11-10 15:36 -0800
                Re: Ten years ago Bush and Cheney Betrayed the USA Four of Seventeen <fseventeen@gmail.com> - 2011-11-10 16:25 -0800
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  Re: [update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... 00101010 <zerozeroonezeroonezeroonezero@h2g2.cazoola> - 2011-09-12 03:41 -0400
    Re: [update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... ClassCastException <zjkg3d9gj56@gmail.invalid> - 2011-09-12 09:10 +0000
      Re: [update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... Cthun <cthun_117@qmail.net.au> - 2011-09-12 05:17 -0400
        Re: [update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... "Cthun" <cthun_117@qmail.net.au> - 2011-09-12 06:35 -0400
          Re: [update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... Cor <cor@spammesenseless.nl> - 2011-09-12 10:28 +0000
          Re: [update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... Cthun <cthun_117@qmail.net.au> - 2011-09-12 07:26 -0400
            Re: [update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... "Cthun" <cthun_117@qmail.net.au> - 2011-09-12 08:48 -0400
              Re: [update] Re: I just do not fskn believe...!... thoolen <th00len@th0lenbot.thorium> - 2011-09-12 20:55 -0400

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