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The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed.

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"Welcome students! You have now entered the hallowed ground of graduate 
studies in physics, and it's time we spent a little attention to how 
you're going to spend your future careers. No need beating around the 
bush. You are about to embark on a life of fraud."

"Sir? Excuse me? No one told us about this."

"Yes, I know, it's a deep secret only suspected by a few people and 
we've managed to make them all appear crazy."

"Sir? So the Large Hadron Collider, the LIGO observatory, the Apollo 
landings? Those were all faked?"

"Absolutely. Not a stitch of truth to them. None of them work."

"Sir, so you're saying we're going to spend the rest of our careers 
making things that do not work?"

"Absolutely."

"But, sir.... why?"

"To further the mystery, son, to further the mystery."

"But sir... why not just work on building things that do work?"

"Because, my poor naive lad, anyone can do that."

"So what you're saying sir, is that it's better for us to pretend to 
build something that no one else can build, even though it doesn't work 
at all, than to build something that anyone else could build too?"

"That's what physics is for, son."

"But sir, I'm not sure I want to do that. I'd rather do something real 
and constructive. I'd rather truly learn something about how nature works."

"Don't be silly, my poor boy, all that was already discovered centuries 
ago. There's nothing more to do in that arena."

"Sir, with all due respect, what's in it for me? Will I get rich working 
on a project at the Large Hadron Collider?"

"Rich? RICH? Don't be silly! You'll get a teaching salary at a 
university, which as you know is not all that great, or perhaps you'll 
get a federally funded lab researcher position which is a government pay 
grade."

"Well, if I'm not going to get rich, will I get famous?"

"Heck no! The big Fake Facilities, or FFs as we call them, have hundreds 
or even thousands of physicists working on them, and so any notoriety 
from fake results published will get distributed among all those people. 
You'll be an anonymous cog on a large list of authors."

"Sir, please, if I'm not doing anything real in physics, and if I'm not 
going to get rich, and if I'm not going to get famous, can you tell me 
at least if it will be easy work?"

"Son, you're young, I know you don't understand this. No, it will be a 
life of constant toil, working long hours at low pay pretending to build 
things that don't actually work, and then in your off time, you'll be 
spending hours and hours perpetuating the conspiracy, deflecting the 
comments of those who smell fraud. Do you know how hard it is to keep 
the Apollo myth going? Conspiracy to perpetuate fraud is hard work! 
Never-ending!"

"So Professor, sir, you're saying that the life of a physicist is long, 
hard work, producing nothing but lies and false claims, for low pay and 
no fame, just for the sake of being able to say we're physicists, which 
we now know is just another word for fraudulent liars?"

"That's exactly right."

"Great, we're in. What's next?"


-- 
Odd Bodkin -- maker of fine toys, tools, tables

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The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. Odd Bodkin <bodkinodd@gmail.com> - 2018-06-13 08:25 -0500
  Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. benj <benj@nobody.net> - 2018-06-13 11:29 -0400
    Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. Odd Bodkin <bodkinodd@gmail.com> - 2018-06-13 17:52 +0000
      Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. benj <benj@nobody.net> - 2018-06-13 14:34 -0400
        Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. Odd Bodkin <bodkinodd@gmail.com> - 2018-06-13 18:42 +0000
          Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. benj <benj@nobody.net> - 2018-06-13 14:56 -0400
            Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. Odd Bodkin <bodkinodd@gmail.com> - 2018-06-13 19:22 +0000
              Ben, like most of us, thinks with his dick. Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2018-06-15 01:16 -0700
                Re: Ben, like most of us, thinks with his dick. benj <benj@nobody.net> - 2018-06-15 11:22 -0400
                Repressed Christians fuck the most, and science isn't their friend. Jeff-Relf.Me  @. - 2018-06-15 14:40 -0700
              Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. poraty149@gmail.com - 2018-06-15 05:08 -0700
                Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. James McGinn <jimmcginn9@gmail.com> - 2018-06-15 10:05 -0700
  Re: The Grand Fraud of Physics, Revealed. James McGinn <jimmcginn9@gmail.com> - 2018-06-15 10:00 -0700

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