Groups | Search | Server Info | Keyboard shortcuts | Login | Register [http] [https] [nntp] [nntps]

Groups > rec.arts.sf.written > #493154

Re: RI May 2018

Show all headers | View raw

In article <ff39bd89-3ee4-4777-89b2-f1a0bcc49471@googlegroups.com>,
Ahasuerus  <ahasuerus@email.com> wrote:
>On Monday, June 4, 2018 at 12:22:54 AM UTC-4, Ted Nolan <tednolan> wrote:
>> Species C1764: Book 1 of the Eridani Series 
>> by C.G. William  
>> https://amzn.to/2sugrsM
>> 
>> Thanks to Kade Green in RASFW for pointing out this series!
>
>[plot reduced to subatomic particles]
>
>> This one has it all.  A revised-Campbellian setting (humans are messed
>> up SOBs, but still great), pitched battles, destruction on a planetary
>> scale, decent characters, sympathetic aliens who are still evil, final
>> stands, last ditch retreats, boarding actions and crushing loss.
>
>Now that I have finished it, I can agree re: the book "having it all",
>except for the "decent characters" part. If the book were expanded to
>regular length, the grammar were fixed and the characters were beefed
>up, it might do well within the indie space opera niche.

Ah well.  I did say "decent" not "great".  They are stock types: the
bickering couple, the cheeky kid, the sociopathic genius,
the long suffering world-wise soldiers etc, but I thought fairly well
executed.

>
>> And yet.  This book seems to be completely unedited.  There is no
>> doubt in my mind that the author works on a professional level..
>> writing, but the steps *after* getting a great story down on paper
>> (or e-ink) have not been done.  There is hardly a page without bad
>> homonyms, confusion between plurals and possessives, one character
>> named when another is meant,  plainly missing sentences and awkward
>> sentences which could be easily fixed:
>> 
>> 'The Martian hooked a hand around the hatch as he flew past it, and
>> using his own momentum swung it shut with his own momentum.'
>> 
>> I'm no copy editor, but I think that with a few hours and a red pencil
>> I could easily make this something Baen would (or should) be proud to
>> publish. Unfortunately, neither I nor anyone else has done this.
>> Know that going in, and you will have a crackerjack story.  Be
>> blindsided by it, and you may lose hope.
>
>[snip-snip]
>
>I went in with my expectations adjusted based on your review yet I was
>still shocked by how bad it was. It read like a raw transcript of an R.
>Lionel Fanthorpe dictation run through a voice recognition program. It

Let me pause to admire that..

>took me forever to finish this very short book because I had to re-parse/
>re-punctuate (and, more often than not, restructure) every sentence. If
>not for your review and the book's length, I would have dropped it after
>the first two pages.

What can I say?  My filters seem to be set differently than yours.
I certainly enjoyed the book more than say, something like

	_Starcruiser Polaris: Blood of Patriots_
	by Richard Tongue 
	http://amzn.to/2qnehNw

which is also an indie space opera, and comptently edited.  And dull.

So, was the gain/pain ratio too high to continue, or no?


-- 
------
columbiaclosings.com
What's not in Columbia anymore..

Back to rec.arts.sf.written | Previous | Next — Previous in thread | Next in thread | Find similar | Unroll thread

Thread

RI May 2018 ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2018-06-04 04:22 +0000
  Re: RI May 2018 Ahasuerus <ahasuerus@email.com> - 2018-06-04 11:02 -0700
    Re: RI May 2018 ted@hotrod.bn02868.foressc.wayport.net (Ted Nolan) - 2018-06-04 23:21 +0000
    Re: RI May 2018 "Default User" <defaultuserbr@yahoo.com> - 2018-08-18 20:08 +0000
      Re: RI May 2018 ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2018-08-19 02:20 +0000
  Re: RI May 2018 Robert Carnegie <rja.carnegie@excite.com> - 2018-06-04 14:39 -0700
  Re: RI May 2018 D B Davis <g@crcomp.net> - 2018-06-05 12:50 +0000
    Re: RI May 2018 ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2018-06-05 17:39 +0000
  Re: RI May 2018 Ahasuerus <ahasuerus@email.com> - 2018-06-07 09:21 -0700
    Re: RI May 2018 ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2018-06-07 16:52 +0000
      Re: RI May 2018 Ahasuerus <ahasuerus@email.com> - 2018-06-07 14:20 -0700
        Re: RI May 2018 ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2018-06-07 21:25 +0000
          Re: RI May 2018 Ahasuerus <ahasuerus@email.com> - 2018-06-07 14:56 -0700
      Re: RI May 2018 Lynn McGuire <lynnmcguire5@gmail.com> - 2018-06-07 16:46 -0500
        Re: RI May 2018 scott@slp53.sl.home (Scott Lurndal) - 2018-06-08 13:58 +0000
          Re: RI May 2018 ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2018-06-08 17:01 +0000
            Re: RI May 2018 Ahasuerus <ahasuerus@email.com> - 2018-06-08 10:30 -0700
              Re: RI May 2018 ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2018-06-08 17:34 +0000
  Re: RI May 2018 tsbrueni@gmail.com - 2018-08-19 07:52 -0700
    Re: RI May 2018 ted@loft.tnolan.com (Ted Nolan <tednolan>) - 2018-08-19 16:32 +0000

csiph-web