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| From | nebusj-@-rpi-.edu (Joseph Nebus) |
|---|---|
| Newsgroups | rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k |
| Subject | MiSTed: The Tale of Jimmy Rabbit, Chapter 9 (1 / 1) |
| Date | 2025-10-11 02:05 +0000 |
| Organization | PANIX Public Access Internet and UNIX, NYC |
| Message-ID | <10cce0m$euv$1@reader2.panix.com> (permalink) |
Cross-posted to 3 groups.
>
>
>
>
> [Illustration: 9 Playing Leap-Frog]
TOM: Daniel Frog doesn't think this is so much fun.
>
> Chapter 9
JOEL: You know drop one word of this chapter into a narrative and it'll _all_ become Chapter 9.
>
> Playing Leap-Frog
CROW: Or 'playing *at* leap-frog' as my friends and I like to say. Ha ha ha ha, we have fun.
>
>
> There was great joy in the woods.
TOM: Was Bambi just born again? I bet it's Bambi was just born!
> Jimmy Rabbit had
> promised to teach his friends a new game.
JOEL: Is this a game or is it just wheelbarrows again ?
> Frisky Squirrel and
> Billy Woodchuck, Fatty Raccoon and Tommy Fox, were all on
> hand to have their share of the fun.
TOM: Fatty asks if he can have an extra helping of fun.
>
> "What's the game called?" Frisky Squirrel asked.
CROW: 'Let's Eat Maggie'.
>
> "It's leap-frog," Jimmy told him.
JOEL: I thought that was only years divisible by four?
>
> "Shucks!" said Fatty Raccoon. "The frog's not here
> yet.
TOM: Maybe the frog lept away?
> And we can't do anything till _he_ comes."
>
> Jimmy Rabbit laughed.
CROW: _She_ has been here all the time!
>
> "You don't need a frog to play leap-frog," he said.
TOM: You doorknob.
JOEL: Do I not need to leap?
TOM: Let's hold questions until I've explained it.
> "Just squat down in front of me and I'll show you how it's
> done."
CROW: I haven't had many good experiences with squatting. Is this me or is there something wrong with squats?
>
> Frisky Squirrel did just as Jimmy told him to do.
TOM: Frisky Squirrel is still afraid of Jimmy after that ceramic-eggs thing he did to Henry Skunk.
> And
> Jimmy ran up behind him, put his front paws on Frisky's back,
> and leaped over him.
JOEL: [ Raising both arms ] Touchdown!
> Then he ran on a little way. And when he
> stopped, he crouched down and called to Fatty Raccoon to jump
> over them both.
TOM: That's trusting a lot in Fatty's ability to jump high.
CROW: That's trusting a lot in the ground's ability to not sink.
>
> Soon they were all playing leap-frog, though Tommy
> Fox said that he didn't think it was much of a game.
JOEL: It's 1916, what else are you going to do? That little triangle thingy where you move toothpicks they put on the tables at Cracker Barrel?
>
> "There's more to it than you think," Jimmy said. "I
> haven't taught you the whole game yet."
CROW: He hasn't even introduced the shot clock yet.
>
> "Well, I want to learn it all," Tommy Fox grumbled.
TOM: Ah, you'll have to go to Leap-Frog College for that.
>
> "Wait until you do this part better," Jimmy Rabbit
> said.
JOEL: We want you to really _emote_. Can you _feel_ yourself being the frog?
> "Then I'll show you something different. You must learn
> to leap higher and further.
TOM: _Better_ than he was before.
JOEL: [ Hums 'The Six Million Dollar Man' theme. ]
> You're not half as good a jumper
> as I supposed you were."
CROW: Why is Jimmy negging Tommy? Does he want a date?
>
> Tommy Fox did not like that very well.
TOM: No, he was very good at not liking that, so you should write 'Tommy Fox did not like that very good'.
> And if he and
> Jimmy Rabbit had been alone I am afraid he would have done
> something very unpleasant to Jimmy.
CROW: It's your story! You can make Tommy do nice things.
> But now he only snarled a
> little, and showed his teeth, and said that he could leap
> higher and further than any of the others.
JOEL: Except for ol' Billy the Antigravity Kangaroo, of course, but that's a special case.
>
> "Well, you're a good boaster, anyhow," said Jimmy.
CROW: That's our Tommy all right.
TOM: [ Growling ]
>
> Everybody laughed at that--except Tommy Fox. _He_
> frowned.
CROW: Did you not get it, Tom?
TOM: Look, why don't you go finking on Jimmy over to Mister Mink?
JOEL: Hey, don't you two let Arthur Scott Bailey make you fight, okay?
> And when it was his turn to leap over the others he
> sprang so high and so far that he jumped over Frisky Squirrel
> and Fatty Raccoon together, without once touching the ground.
TOM: [ As Jimmy ] Heh ... My plan worked perfectly!
> It was really a wonderful jump.
CROW: [ Sighing ] Well, on to the rest of our lives, I guess.
>
> "What do you think of that?" Tommy asked with a grin.
> "Can any of you beat that?"
TOM: [ As Fatty ] I once found a potato that looked like Jacob Riis. Ate it.
>
> "It's a pretty fair leap," Jimmy Rabbit admitted.
> "But I've seen better.
JOEL: [ As Frisky ] I haven't.
> When I'm in practice I can do better
> myself. A really good leap-frog player ought to be able to
> jump over three people at a time."
CROW: But ever since they legalized the forward pass and started making players wear helmets the game isn't any good anymore.
>
> Fatty Raccoon shook his head. He was not much of a
> jumper--he was so fat, and his legs were so short.
JOEL: But if we give you a booster rocket to start, what about that?
> And he
> didn't believe he could ever leap over three people at a
> time.
TOM: What if the people are William Woodtick and his brothers?
CROW: His 'brothers'.
>
> "I could do it, if you'd let me start from a tree,"
> Frisky Squirrel said.
JOEL: Now how are you going to jump over a tree?
>
> But Jimmy told him that that was never allowed.
TOM: Within the game, he hastened to add. Frisky can jump from a tree to meet his professional squirrel obligations.
>
> "It's against the rules of the game," he explained.
CROW: Excuse me, Jimmy, but _tree frog_? Check and mate.
>
> "Well, I can do it, and start on the ground, too,"
> Tommy Fox boasted. "I can do anything anybody else can do."
JOEL: Mister Crow is ready to challenge him.
CROW: Yeah, that's right, Tommy, let's see you put pebbles in a vase until the water's high enough to drink! Hah!
>
> "I believe you can," Jimmy Rabbit said, to
> everybody's surprise.
JOEL: Nobody expects Jimmy to acknowledge others' abilities!
> For they all knew that he didn't like
> Tommy Fox.
CROW: To be fair do any of these characters like any others?
> "We'll give you a good, fair chance to try it,"
> Jimmy went on. "You squat here," he told Fatty Raccoon.
TOM: [ As Fatty ] Can do!
> And
> he pointed out the exact place where he wanted Fatty to
> stand.
JOEL: Roscoe Arbuckle's watching this and taking notes.
> A little way behind Fatty, he stationed Frisky
> Squirrel.
CROW: No no no, you need to keep the reserves where they can support _either_ of your front line units.
> And back of Frisky he took his own place.
>
> "Now!" Jimmy Rabbit said, "are you all ready?"
>
> "Yes," they cried.
TOM: [ As Tommy ] I forgot what we're doing!
CROW: [ As Frisky ] Me too!
JOEL: [ As Fatty ] I'm hungry!
>
> "I'm coming!" called Tommy Fox. And he came running
> up behind them. He rested his front paws on Jimmy Rabbit's
> back. And just as he leaped, Jimmy Rabbit leaped too.
>
> You might say that Tommy Fox made a double jump.
TOM: Arthur Scott Bailey invented sequence-breaking?!
> His
> own jump would have been a high one. But when Jimmy jumped,
> it sent Tommy Fox all the higher into the air.
JOEL: Oh, classic Jimmy Jumping there.
> He went
> sailing far above Frisky Squirrel and Fatty Raccoon; and
> still he kept on, turning and tumbling, head over heels,
TOM: Some say he hasn't landed to this day.
> until at last he landed with a great splash in the same deep
> pool where the hornets chased Cuffy Bear one time.
CROW: Like duh, you don't have to remind *us* about Cuppy Bear and the hornets.
TOM: Cuffy.
CROW: What?
>
> When Tommy Fox crawled out upon the bank, dripping
> wet, the leap-frog players were nowhere to be seen.
JOEL: Frisky Squirrel never imagined a game of leap-frog would make him a fugitive for life.
>
> Though Tommy did not know it, at that very moment
> they were hidden in the woods, rolling over and over upon the
> ground,
TOM: Leaping *and* rolling? Man, how did video games ever get popular?
> and laughing as if they would never stop.
>
> Finally Jimmy Rabbit sat up and wiped the tears off
> his face. He had laughed so hard that he had cried.
JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! (Sigh) Well, on with life then.
>
> "I told him I'd teach him something different about
> leap-frog," he said.
CROW: Not as punchy as Henry Skunk eating hen's eggs but there you go.
[ End of Chapter 9 ]
--
Joseph Nebus
Math Blog: https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com
Humor Blog: https://nebushumor.wordpress.com
--------------------------------------------------------+---------------------
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