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Re: A Problem To Solve :-)

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On 2/18/2024 1:51 AM, Physfitfreak wrote:
> On 2/14/2024 12:50 PM, Physfitfreak wrote:
>> eople there began muttering in disapproval. Physfit got curious and 
>> stopped to think for a moment. Then confident why Stallman had said 
>> that, he kicked the monkey out of his way and went outside. Area being 
>> flat as fuck, he spotted the peculiar summit of the magic mountain 
>> from afar and walked back to his car and drove the relatively short 
>> distance home.
> 
> 
> 
> Parked the car somewhere convenient to jump back in, cause you never 
> know when the cats food supplies may need replenishment. Then just as he 
> approached the portico to get in, the postman hailed behind him, "Dr. 
> M... you have the IRS mail you had inquired about earlier."
> 
> "This 'Dr.' crap again," Physfit said to himself, "he must've seen that 
> funny prefix on some of the mail I rarely get from the alumni association."
> 
> Physfit signed for the certified letter and took it inside. Cleared the 
> cat-accessible desk from the cats, sat down and openned it right away 
> cause when IRS contacts you with certified mail, there's a clusterfuck 
> somewhere.
> 
> Huh! ...
> 
> So what does Physfit see in the IRS letter? The letter goes like this:
> 
> 
>     "Since you Mr. ... are Iran-backed, the tax you paid for year 2023, 
> under the newly enacted law, will have to be calculated as:
> 
>          new 2023 tax = (old 2023 tax)^100
> 
> You have 90 days to pay the amount due. If you have any questions, you 
> can call IRS at 1-800-382-1871.
> 
>                   'In god we trust, and Jewish dick, we suck.'
>                            - Book of Mormon, Penis X, 7:14"
> 
> 
> ... So the bill that those pervert criminals in the government had 
> recently passed into law to fit the beastly desires of the now dumbed 
> down Americans, had kicked in.
> 
> "Let me just for laughs see what the amount comes to", said Physfit to 
> himself. The qbasic computer screen was still on since the night before. 
> He sat down and typed:
> 
> oldTax = 6822
> newTAX = (oldTAX)**100
> print, "new tax is now = "; newTAX
> 
> and he hit F5.
> 
> An error message comes up saying, "Error 3407." He looked it up via the 
> other computer and found that there was actually a diagnostic software 
> written just for causes of that error. He downloaded the software and 
> copied it to jump drive and ran it on the troubled computer. A message 
> came up saying, "Cannot diagnose. The central processing unit can only 
> perform 8 multiplications."
> 
> "Zepeleshk!..." (Iranian term for something funny and yet gross)
> 
> He looked at the back of the computer and there it was, all the 
> telltales of cats having urinated inside the computer through the 
> ventilation mesh. He turned to the computer itself as if it is a person, 
> and told it, "So how the hell are you supposed to raise a number to the 
> power of 100?"
> 
> "Hmm... let's see!" he said, and began thinking. In about one minute he 
> changed and rewrote the above qbasic code and had the dysfunctional cpu 
> compute the power of 100 by only 8 multiplications.
> 
> What was the new code?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 


So he did get the new tax amount after all, but the amount was so huge 
that he began cursing. Not once, and not twice, but he kept cursing for 
a minute straight until he suddenly saw an opening on the ceiling was 
formed and light began to pour in and Jesus descended from heaven into 
his living room.

Not giving a damn to such bullshit, Physfit continued cursing, but Jesus 
removed a cat hair from his white attire and came closer and placed his 
right hand on Physfit's left shoulder, and said:

Jesus:   "Oh you poor Iran-backed man, I was also Iran-backed and see 
what those savage cro-magnons did to me. Is the injustice done to you of 
the same severity?"

Physfit:  "Are you kidding me? I'll blow their fucking heads off before 
they come to crucify me. This is Texas, not your fucking Jerusalem."

Jesus:    "If I don't curse - and I didn't - shouldn't you also stop 
cursing?"

Physfit:  "Hmm ... yes perhaps I shouldn't curse. But I picked this 
American habit gradually over 45 years. I used to be told in my earlier 
years, why I didn't ever curse. But now, not that easy to break this 
habit."

Jesus: "If I wish so, it is easy. I ordain that you only have 200 more 
curses left to utter."

Physfit looked at Jesus (he looked like... Arafat!) and said, "Is that 
to be for the rest of my life?" Jesus nodded.

Physfit thought a bit, then said, "I have been saying an exact number of 
curses per day as therapy to manage life. I'd rather reduce that number 
gradually. Otherwise I might kill somebody."

Jesus:   "You will curse today as usual. From tomorrow, you will begin 
saying 7 curses fewer than the day before, everyday, until you are left 
with just one curse to utter. And you will never utter that curse."

Physfit:  "Fair enough."


How many times a day was Physfit cursing before meeting Jesus?





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Re: A Problem To Solve :-) Physfitfreak <Physfitfreak@gmail.com> - 2024-02-14 12:50 -0600
  Re: A Problem To Solve :-) Lester Thorpe <lt@gnu.rocks> - 2024-02-14 20:33 +0000
    Re: A Problem To Solve :-) Physfitfreak <Physfitfreak@gmail.com> - 2024-02-15 13:22 -0600
  Re: A Problem To Solve :-) Physfitfreak <Physfitfreak@gmail.com> - 2024-02-18 01:51 -0600
    Re: A Problem To Solve :-) Physfitfreak <Physfitfreak@gmail.com> - 2024-02-21 00:38 -0600
      Re: A Problem To Solve :-) Physfitfreak <Physfitfreak@gmail.com> - 2024-02-27 16:13 -0600

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