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Re: Your Analytics Compartments :-)

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On 12/10/2021 12:32 PM, Clutterfreak wrote:
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Continuing from STP function of ACOB.


Example 2: "You'll always be a whore!"

I've never been a whore. I did what I wanted the entire adult life and 
almost 100% of my teenage and childhood years. That's how my father 
raised all his children. And my mother supported that lovingly and 
gracefully. Other relatives would immediately notice that as soon as 
they made us a visit. We kids were unusually free to do anything we wanted.

Nobody ever told me, "Go to your bed right now!". "Eat your dinner!" 
Neither my mother nor my father. I only heard that expression from other 
relatives and neighbors and in the CH movies. It would be very strange 
indeed if someone like my father would tell me "Time to go to bed!" He 
was not that character and I was not that kid to take sick comments like 
that and follow it. I wasn't raised inside a military barrack. I was 
brought up in a nice family environment.

We thought for ourselves, decided for ourselves. If my father would tell 
me something I would eagerly listen and lovingly follow cause the 
reasons he'd explain often made perfect sense. It was all natural. I've 
seen that even in cats with their kittens! Same about my mother.

This is the background from which I came. Do you think, even for a 
moment, that you could make a whore out of me? Nobody could!

I've already told the story of how and why I left school. It is 
somewhere in one of my blogs, could be this one, I don't remember now. 
That part of the story wouldn't fit under an example for STP anyway. But 
perhaps I only mention one thing that I'm sure I never said here. I'll 
bring that here just for the heck of it :) It was part of the reason I 
and a few others threw their degrees away and left school. There was 
this guy we knew so well. He had graduated exactly a year earlier and 
had immediately been picked up as a scientist working for a military 
compound in Greenland that did serious research there in those years. 
The strange location was chosen for a reason of course cause the studies 
done almost all had to do with high altitude polar regions.

On a visit to Dallas, when we all had invited him for dinner in a 
restaurant, after all that fun and wine and dine, he finished his 
detailed explanation of a PhD job in there where he worked by this, 
"You'll always be a whore."

Let me cut all the bullshit now. We took that great guy's advice 
seriously and some of us quit school over that! We didn't want to be 
subjected to a life of working under some two-bit character telling us 
how to rig the data the way he wanted, or where to cut the work short 
and begin on something else. We didn't want to become somebody's whores. 
We were _not_ "engineers." We were physicists.

Enough said. But it is now the Monday after last week's Thursday when I 
had emailed my dissertation supervisor with a very short statement 
announcing that I will not be in school anymore. This Monday sure didn't 
feel like a Monday! Mondays, for me for so long had been totally 
different. They've been full of activity and study and management. But 
this Monday was so strangely silent and just waiting there by itself to 
see what I want to do. I was experiencing a Monday for the first time as 
a free man. In physics or else, totally free.

My biggest problem turned out not to be the repercussions losing a 
degree, losing a secure relatively good paying job, a title that some 
dimwits and many of those who know less covet. The actual problem was my 
own inner self! I found myself unable to rest! Awake or asleep, didn't 
matter. Something from deep inside was pressing me, giving me warnings, 
even threatened me. I could not even rest in my sleep. Nightmares were 
all telling me something was gravely wrong!

My subconscious had not yet caught up with me, the clutterfreak. The 
only thing I had in the world in those difficult days, the only tool 
that could ever be utilized to help me, was STP. So I diligently did 
that as firmly as I could. And thanks god it didn't take more than a 
couple of weeks. By third week into it, my mind began to rest. It had 
just overcome the strange unknowns I had imposed on it, and now was 
seeing better just what it was that I did so daringly all by myself.

But the nightmares continued for several months, then they got more and 
more scarce. Still years later I would once in a very long while 
experience them :) Something of it, a tiny bit, is still in me today. It 
is like a dead love from teenage years for a girl.

What _was_ positive about my new life anyway? There were several of them 
if you can believe it! I stayed my own man. My access to _any_ area of 
physics stayed intact! I could look into anything I wanted; I could 
begin from zero from anywhere I wanted in any subject in physics; I 
could use what I knew to answer many interesting questions I had in mind 
for which books had not been written and articles would not be 
published! And above all, I had escaped that trap.

PhD title is like a trap. It is a microcosm of what those who win Nobel 
Prizes experience. As soon as they are announced to have won a Nobel, 
their lives become fairy tale, useless, exaggerated, and cluttered with 
bullshit. Those scientists actually abhor getting Nobel because it is 
the beginning of the end for them, but there's not a damn thing they can 
do to reverse it. Once given, you're a thing of the past.

PhD is a tiny microcosm of the same thing :-) Hehe. As soon as you get 
it, the jobs you can find get limited. The people you can live with and 
work with get limited. The access you naturally have to various 
realities, all, get affected. And the range of ideas you can openly 
discuss - indeed anything you ever can utter from that point on in your 
life - gets lean, meager, sparse, reserved, and so fucking _measured_ :-(

You think I have concocted these crap by myself?? No! This is what my 
PhD friends tell me. Those who know me and don't have to pretend when 
with me.

So the "freedom" I felt, scary as it was, was truly positive. It was 
true freedom!

Another positive aspect of what I had done was the fact that a wholesome 
human should perpetually feel the predator! This is one of the functions 
of ACOB that I haven't discussed yet (DWP: "Deals With Predator"). As 
soon as you cocoon yourself inside a phony environment that a PhD title 
throws at you, you lose the necessary touch you out to have about and 
with your predator.

Those who have lived long and gathered a lot of experience, can 
understand these facts perfectly. I was then just investigating these as 
part of STP I was trying to do.

And of course I saved myself from the trap of a desk-job. My field of 
study was theoretical and I'd get a desk-job as a result for the rest of 
my life. Then when my doctor would warn me that I should get a job that 
gets me moving, warehouses would not hire someone with a PhD :) Hehe :)

It would rob me of even such options.

And above all the most positive in what I did that I could _see_ was 
that I stayed true to myself. Cognitive dissonance, as prevalent as it 
is in the CH all over the world, was never part of my life.

I was never someone's whore.



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Re: Your Analytics Compartments :-) Clutterfreak <clutterfreakincarnate@gmail.com> - 2021-12-08 13:25 -0600
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        Re: Your Analytics Compartments :-) Clutterfreak <clutterfreakincarnate@gmail.com> - 2021-12-11 10:14 -0600
          Re: Your Analytics Compartments :-) Arindam Banerjee <banerjeeadda1234@gmail.com> - 2021-12-11 15:39 -0800
          Re: Your Analytics Compartments :-) Clutterfreak <clutterfreakincarnate@gmail.com> - 2021-12-14 13:31 -0600
            Re: Your Analytics Compartments :-) Clutterfreak <clutterfreakincarnate@gmail.com> - 2021-12-15 11:06 -0600
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