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Tech support scammer makes my day!

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  Tech support scammer makes my day! simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) - 2015-07-16 12:03 +0100
    Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! JimP <solosam90@gmail.com> - 2015-07-16 09:28 -0500
      Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Ahem A Rivet's Shot <steveo@eircom.net> - 2015-07-16 16:17 +0100
        Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu> - 2015-07-16 10:10 -0600
          Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Charlie Gibbs <cgibbs@kltpzyxm.invalid> - 2015-07-16 17:59 +0000
          Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) - 2015-07-17 09:29 +0100
        Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) - 2015-07-17 09:22 +0100
          Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Huge <Huge@nowhere.much.invalid> - 2015-07-17 09:47 +0000
            Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Stephen Wolstenholme <steve@easynn.com> - 2015-07-17 11:35 +0100
          Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! lawrence@cluon.com - 2015-07-21 16:36 +0200
            Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Charlie Gibbs <cgibbs@kltpzyxm.invalid> - 2015-07-21 14:45 +0000
            Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Ahem A Rivet's Shot <steveo@eircom.net> - 2015-07-21 16:45 +0100
            Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Charlie Gibbs <cgibbs@kltpzyxm.invalid> - 2015-07-30 22:50 +0000
              Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Lon <lon.stowell@comcast.net> - 2015-08-02 11:17 -0600
              Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! "Charles Richmond" <numerist@aquaporin4.com> - 2015-08-02 01:26 -0500
      Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! mjb@signal11.invalid (Mike) - 2015-07-16 22:06 +0100
        Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Dan Espen <despen@verizon.net> - 2015-07-16 20:20 -0400
    Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! Chris J Dixon <chris@cdixon.me.uk> - 2015-07-17 08:10 +0100
      Re: Tech support scammer makes my day! mjb@signal11.invalid (Mike) - 2015-07-17 21:01 +0100

#148300 — Tech support scammer makes my day!

I don't often laugh out loud during the working day, so I thought I'd
share this with you in the hope of brightening someone else's day.

I've just been rung by one of those splendidly heavily-accented tech
support scammers.  This is how the call went:

  Him:	Good afternoon [at 11:50 am local time], my name is Paul from the
	technical helpline, and I would like to talk to you about your
	computer.

  Me:	Which computer?

  Him:	Microsoft Windows computer.

  Me:	Which Microsoft Windows computer?  What version of Windows is it
	running?

  Him:	(silence)

  Me:	Come on, you're supposed to know this stuff.

  Him:	I think I'd better hang up the call.  I don't want to talk to
	someone who is illiterate with computers.

  Me:	(gales of laughter)

  Him:	(click)

I haven't laughed so loudly in ages.  It quite made my day!

-- 
Simon Turner                                    DoD #0461
simon@twoplaces.co.uk
    Trust me -- I know what I'm doing!          -- Sledge Hammer

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#148311

On Thu, 16 Jul 2015 12:03:54 +0100 (BST), simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon
Turner) wrote:

>I don't often laugh out loud during the working day, so I thought I'd
>share this with you in the hope of brightening someone else's day.
>
>I've just been rung by one of those splendidly heavily-accented tech
>support scammers.  This is how the call went:
>
>  Him:	Good afternoon [at 11:50 am local time], my name is Paul from the
>	technical helpline, and I would like to talk to you about your
>	computer.
>
>  Me:	Which computer?
>
>  Him:	Microsoft Windows computer.
>
>  Me:	Which Microsoft Windows computer?  What version of Windows is it
>	running?
>
>  Him:	(silence)
>
>  Me:	Come on, you're supposed to know this stuff.
>
>  Him:	I think I'd better hang up the call.  I don't want to talk to
>	someone who is illiterate with computers.
>
>  Me:	(gales of laughter)
>
>  Him:	(click)
>
>I haven't laughed so loudly in ages.  It quite made my day!

One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
version of Windows it is.
-- 
JimP.

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#148312

On Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:28:29 -0500
JimP <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:

> One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
> has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
> version of Windows it is.

	I never get these - otherwise I'd be inclined to tell them that my
windows server is running X11R7.

-- 
Steve O'Hara-Smith                          |   Directable Mirror Arrays
C:>WIN                                      | A better way to focus the sun
The computer obeys and wins.                |    licences available see
You lose and Bill collects.                 |    http://www.sohara.org/

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#148313

Ahem A Rivet's Shot <steveo@eircom.net> writes:

> On Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:28:29 -0500
> JimP <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
>> has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
>> version of Windows it is.
>
> 	I never get these - otherwise I'd be inclined to tell them that my
> windows server is running X11R7.

I don't know whether I get these or not:  if the caller ID doesn't tell
me it's somebody I know, I figure if they have something I want to hear
they can leave it on the answering machine.  I get a couple of calls a
day that I don't pick up; I got months between having a message left on
the machine.

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#148319

On 2015-07-16, Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu> wrote:

> Ahem A Rivet's Shot <steveo@eircom.net> writes:
>
>> On Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:28:29 -0500
>> JimP <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
>>> has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
>>> version of Windows it is.
>>
>> 	I never get these - otherwise I'd be inclined to tell them that my
>> windows server is running X11R7.

Me: My computers run Linux.  Or are you asking about the Windows XP
    that I run under VirtualBox?

Him: <baffled silence>

> I don't know whether I get these or not:  if the caller ID doesn't tell
> me it's somebody I know, I figure if they have something I want to hear
> they can leave it on the answering machine.  I get a couple of calls a
> day that I don't pick up; I got months between having a message left on
> the machine.

I make it a policy to not answer the phone if I don't recognize the
caller ID.  There might be the odd exception - for example, if I'm
expecting a call from someone whose number I don't know.  However,
I won't pick up under any circumstances if the call display shows
"unknown" or a toll-free number (800, 888, etc.).  And yes, few such
callers leave a message.

This has worked so well for me that I haven't had to resort to my old
pre-call-display policy for some time.  This was to pick up the phone,
say "hello", and hang up if there was no response within two seconds.
This would catch the cases where the telemarketer's demon dialer had
called me but was still trying to connect to an available agent.  I
created this policy when I noticed that any time my wife said "hello"
twice, the next thing she said was almost invariably "Don't call me
again!" followed by slamming down the phone.

-- 
/~\  cgibbs@kltpzyxm.invalid (Charlie Gibbs)
\ /  I'm really at ac.dekanfrus if you read it the right way.
 X   Top-posted messages will probably be ignored.  See RFC1855.
/ \  HTML will DEFINITELY be ignored.  Join the ASCII ribbon campaign!

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#148356

On Thursday, in article <1bio9kulqt.fsf@pfeifferfamily.net>
     pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu "Joe Pfeiffer" wrote:

> Ahem A Rivet's Shot <steveo@eircom.net> writes:
> 
> > On Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:28:29 -0500
> > JimP <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >> One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
> >> has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
> >> version of Windows it is.
> >
> >       I never get these - otherwise I'd be inclined to tell them that my
> > windows server is running X11R7.
> 
> I don't know whether I get these or not:  if the caller ID doesn't tell
> me it's somebody I know, I figure if they have something I want to hear
> they can leave it on the answering machine.  I get a couple of calls a
> day that I don't pick up; I got months between having a message left on
> the machine.

Sadly I have real people I need to speak to whose numbers are either
blocked (showing up as "Withheld"), not presented ("Unavailable") or
originating overseas ("International"), so I pretty much have to answer
them in case it's one of the aforementioned real people (who typically
cannot do anything about what ID is presented, and don't appreciate
being screened -- or who just hang up without leaving a message anyway).

The best ones are where they present some completely bogus ID like
00000000000; you couldn't make it more obvious that you're up to no
good.

-- 
Simon Turner                                    DoD #0461
simon@twoplaces.co.uk
    Trust me -- I know what I'm doing!          -- Sledge Hammer

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#148355

On Thursday, in article
     <20150716161721.9f7b4d5c5199653af37ce6cf@eircom.net>
     steveo@eircom.net "Ahem A Rivet's Shot" wrote:

> On Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:28:29 -0500
> JimP <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> > One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
> > has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
> > version of Windows it is.
> 
>         I never get these - otherwise I'd be inclined to tell them that my
> windows server is running X11R7.

8-)

Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a couple
of years ago I was getting two or three per day.

I'm usually too busy to have fun with them, although I once managed to
tie them up for 10-15 minutes, moving up from the original caller to his
boss and then to his boss (with the accents getting less thick with each
upward step), because they couldn't understand why my Windows error log
apparently contained no errors at all.  Eventually the third-level bloke
realised they'd been had and hung up on me.

If you've got the time, it's arguably a sort of civic duty to try to tie
them up for as long as possible, because while they're wasting time on
you they aren't managing to scam someone less knowledgeable.  I have no
idea what their success rate is, but it must still be profitable...

-- 
Simon Turner                                    DoD #0461
simon@twoplaces.co.uk
    Trust me -- I know what I'm doing!          -- Sledge Hammer

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#148360

On 2015-07-17, Simon Turner <simon@twoplaces.co.uk> wrote:
> On Thursday, in article
>      <20150716161721.9f7b4d5c5199653af37ce6cf@eircom.net>
>      steveo@eircom.net "Ahem A Rivet's Shot" wrote:
>
>> On Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:28:29 -0500
>> JimP <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:
>> 
>> > One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
>> > has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
>> > version of Windows it is.
>> 
>>         I never get these - otherwise I'd be inclined to tell them that my
>> windows server is running X11R7.
>
> 8-)
>
> Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
> average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a couple
> of years ago I was getting two or three per day.

And I've never had one, ever.

-- 
Today is Pungenday, the 52nd day of Confusion in the YOLD 3181
                  I don't have an attitude problem.
    If you have a problem with my attitude, that's your problem.

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#148363

On 17 Jul 2015 09:47:02 GMT, Huge <Huge@nowhere.much.invalid> wrote:

>On 2015-07-17, Simon Turner <simon@twoplaces.co.uk> wrote:
>> On Thursday, in article
>>      <20150716161721.9f7b4d5c5199653af37ce6cf@eircom.net>
>>      steveo@eircom.net "Ahem A Rivet's Shot" wrote:
>>
>>> On Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:28:29 -0500
>>> JimP <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> 
>>> > One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
>>> > has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
>>> > version of Windows it is.
>>> 
>>>         I never get these - otherwise I'd be inclined to tell them that my
>>> windows server is running X11R7.
>>
>> 8-)
>>
>> Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
>> average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a couple
>> of years ago I was getting two or three per day.
>
>And I've never had one, ever.

I had one once when I accidentally got to the phone before my wife or
the answering machine.

Steve

-- 
Neural Network Software for Windows                 http://www.npsnn.com

EasyNN-plus   More than just a neural network       http://www.easynn.com 

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#148711

simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) writes:
> Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
> average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a couple
> of years ago I was getting two or three per day.

I've never gotten one, *EVAR*.  Now that I think about it, the last
time I got a nefarious phone call was 20+ years ago and it was the
printer-toner scam.  

I feel left out, now :( 

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#148714

On 2015-07-21, lawrence@cluon.com <lawrence@cluon.com> wrote:

> simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) writes:
>
>> Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
>> average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a couple
>> of years ago I was getting two or three per day.
>
> I've never gotten one, *EVAR*.  Now that I think about it, the last
> time I got a nefarious phone call was 20+ years ago and it was the
> printer-toner scam.  
>
> I feel left out, now :( 

"You may have already won!"

-- 
/~\  cgibbs@kltpzyxm.invalid (Charlie Gibbs)
\ /  I'm really at ac.dekanfrus if you read it the right way.
 X   Top-posted messages will probably be ignored.  See RFC1855.
/ \  HTML will DEFINITELY be ignored.  Join the ASCII ribbon campaign!

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#148723

On Tue, 21 Jul 2015 16:36:36 +0200
lawrence@cluon.com wrote:

> simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) writes:
> > Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
> > average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a couple
> > of years ago I was getting two or three per day.
> 
> I've never gotten one, *EVAR*.  Now that I think about it, the last
> time I got a nefarious phone call was 20+ years ago and it was the
> printer-toner scam.  
> 
> I feel left out, now :( 

	YANA - in fact you've had one more than I have.

-- 
Steve O'Hara-Smith                          |   Directable Mirror Arrays
C:>WIN                                      | A better way to focus the sun
The computer obeys and wins.                |    licences available see
You lose and Bill collects.                 |    http://www.sohara.org/

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#149128

On 2015-07-21, Charles Richmond <numerist@aquaporin4.com> wrote:

> <lawrence@cluon.com> wrote in message news:878ua9efwr.fsf@cluon.com...
>
>> simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) writes:
>>
>>> Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
>>> average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a couple
>>> of years ago I was getting two or three per day.
>>
>> I've never gotten one, *EVAR*.  Now that I think about it, the last
>> time I got a nefarious phone call was 20+ years ago and it was the
>> printer-toner scam.
>>
>> I feel left out, now :(
>
> Yeah, you've got to be a real loser... if you are *not* worth scamming!!! 
> ;-)
>
> You need to have some Spam with Spam on Spam... with a side order of Spam!!!

But I don't want _any_ Spam!

-- 
/~\  cgibbs@kltpzyxm.invalid (Charlie Gibbs)
\ /  I'm really at ac.dekanfrus if you read it the right way.
 X   Top-posted messages will probably be ignored.  See RFC1855.
/ \  HTML will DEFINITELY be ignored.  Join the ASCII ribbon campaign!

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#149244

On 8/2/2015 0:26, Charles Richmond wrote:
> "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@kltpzyxm.invalid> wrote in message
> news:mpe9o052pp1@news3.newsguy.com...
>> On 2015-07-21, Charles Richmond <numerist@aquaporin4.com> wrote:
>>
>>> <lawrence@cluon.com> wrote in message news:878ua9efwr.fsf@cluon.com...
>>>
>>>> simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) writes:
>>>>
>>>>> Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
>>>>> average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a
>>>>> couple
>>>>> of years ago I was getting two or three per day.
>>>>
>>>> I've never gotten one, *EVAR*.  Now that I think about it, the last
>>>> time I got a nefarious phone call was 20+ years ago and it was the
>>>> printer-toner scam.
>>>>
>>>> I feel left out, now :(
>>>
>>> Yeah, you've got to be a real loser... if you are *not* worth
>>> scamming!!!
>>> ;-)
>>>
>>> You need to have some Spam with Spam on Spam... with a side order of
>>> Spam!!!
>>
>> But I don't want _any_ Spam!
>>
>
> Charlie, you were *not* asked if you wanted any Spam.  If you are worth
> anything, you'll be Spammed!!! ;-)
>

That may be the ultimate description of modern day down and out:
"We were so poor we weren't worth spamming"

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#149265

"Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@kltpzyxm.invalid> wrote in message 
news:mpe9o052pp1@news3.newsguy.com...
> On 2015-07-21, Charles Richmond <numerist@aquaporin4.com> wrote:
>
>> <lawrence@cluon.com> wrote in message news:878ua9efwr.fsf@cluon.com...
>>
>>> simon@twoplaces.co.uk (Simon Turner) writes:
>>>
>>>> Fascinating how different people's experiences of these are.  They
>>>> average out at probably one per week nowadays, but at one time a couple
>>>> of years ago I was getting two or three per day.
>>>
>>> I've never gotten one, *EVAR*.  Now that I think about it, the last
>>> time I got a nefarious phone call was 20+ years ago and it was the
>>> printer-toner scam.
>>>
>>> I feel left out, now :(
>>
>> Yeah, you've got to be a real loser... if you are *not* worth scamming!!!
>> ;-)
>>
>> You need to have some Spam with Spam on Spam... with a side order of 
>> Spam!!!
>
> But I don't want _any_ Spam!
>

Charlie, you were *not* asked if you wanted any Spam.  If you are worth 
anything, you'll be Spammed!!! ;-)

"If you love someone, set them free.
 If they come back to you,
 That means no one else wanted them.
 Set them free again."

-- 

numerist at aquaporin4 dot com

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#148326

In article <0qffqa1inu7dfg4a2efvcgnnrnqml4hdkg@4ax.com>,
JimP  <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:

>One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
>has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
>version of Windows it is.

I use Linux. I (eventually) tell them this. One of the
cheeky scammers just said "Urghh!". 

What? 

"Urgh!"

He then went on to educate me that Linux was a dirty
operating system only used by hackers and criminals.

Ooookay. And how is that different from what you
guys are doing?

-- 
--------------------------------------+------------------------------------
Mike Brown: mjb[-at-]signal11.org.uk  |    http://www.signal11.org.uk

--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: news@netfront.net ---

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#148346

mjb@signal11.invalid (Mike) writes:

> In article <0qffqa1inu7dfg4a2efvcgnnrnqml4hdkg@4ax.com>,
> JimP  <solosam90@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>One of my relatives keeps getting these... and tells the caller she
>>has an Apple computer. This evidently confuses them as they ask what
>>version of Windows it is.
>
> I use Linux. I (eventually) tell them this. One of the
> cheeky scammers just said "Urghh!". 
>
> What? 
>
> "Urgh!"
>
> He then went on to educate me that Linux was a dirty
> operating system only used by hackers and criminals.

I had a couple that I tried to string along as I described
what was on my screen and I eventually mentioned Linux.

I don't remember any of them understanding what I was saying.

Now Nomorobo blocks almost all of them.

The few that get through I find myself swearing at them.
Especially if they've blocked their number so I can't add
it to the nomorobo dash board.


-- 
Dan Espen

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#148354

Simon Turner wrote:

>I don't often laugh out loud during the working day, so I thought I'd
>share this with you in the hope of brightening someone else's day.
>
>I've just been rung by one of those splendidly heavily-accented tech
>support scammers.  This is how the call went:

[snip]

>I haven't laughed so loudly in ages.  It quite made my day!

Sometimes I ask them to identify which of my computers is
allegedly sending them messages, others I ask what they find on
their own computer if they Google "Windows support scam".

Having established that I don't believe them, it is odd that they
still think that a threat to disable my computer is remotely
credible. They don't like being laughed at.

Chris
-- 
Chris J Dixon  Nottingham UK
chris@cdixon.me.uk

Plant amazing Acers.

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#148397

In article <2cahqalagf4p0osob5dsevqeuge4bnhfkd@4ax.com>,
Chris J Dixon  <chris@cdixon.me.uk> wrote:

>Sometimes I ask them to identify which of my computers is
>allegedly sending them messages,

Ah yes: "Which IP address are these notifications coming from?"

Answer: "There is only one internet address for all of your computers
because the way the internet works" -- is that a half hearted attempt
to explain NAT? OK, then what's the public IP address you're seeing? 

No? Bye bye!

>others I ask what they find on
>their own computer if they Google "Windows support scam".

Been there. Had one of those today.

"On what authority can you say that I am scamming you? It is *you*
that it is the criminal, you are running Windows and lying about
it, you are registered and we will remotely shut down ..."

>They don't like being laughed at.

It's hard not to laugh when they are ploughing through this
rubbish script. Mention the script to them. They don't like it.

"What script are you talking about? How can you know that I have
a script?"

One of them was related to a policeman and was going to get
me arrested for insulting his work, for running "pirate windows" ?

It's pronounced pirate but spelled p-e-n-g-u-i-n.
-- 
--------------------------------------+------------------------------------
Mike Brown: mjb[-at-]signal11.org.uk  |    http://www.signal11.org.uk

--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: news@netfront.net ---

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