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From: The Starmaker <starmaker@ix.netcom.com>
Newsgroups: sci.physics.relativity,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,talk.politics.misc
Subject: Re: Wats a "CEASEFIRE"?   ..."Who shoots first?"
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 2026 12:07:49 -0700
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The Starmaker wrote:
> 
> A ceasefire is military slang for "reload break."
> 
>     Every ceasefire starts with both sides agreeing to stop shooting and
> ends with both sides asking, "Was that you?"
> 
>     A ceasefire is that magical moment when everyone pauses to find
> better targets.
> 
>     History's favorite joke: "This ceasefire will hold."
> 
>     A ceasefire is just shooting's intermission.
> 
>     Nothing makes soldiers more nervous than hearing, "Good news, we
> have a ceasefire."
> 
>     A ceasefire is when everyone stops firing long enough to accuse the
> other side of firing.
> 
>     The shortest ceasefire in history lasted until somebody heard a
> suspicious noise.
> 
>     A ceasefire is proof that optimism can survive direct artillery
> fire.
> 
>     Rule #1 of ceasefires: Never buy non-refundable tickets.
> 
>     Every ceasefire eventually answers the question, "Who shoots first?"
> 
>     A ceasefire is when both sides agree that tomorrow's battle deserves
> fresh ammunition.
> 
>     The most dangerous part of a ceasefire is believing it.
> 
>     A ceasefire is military code for, "See you after lunch."
> 
>     If wars had coffee breaks, they'd call them ceasefires.
> 
>     Ceasefire (noun): A temporary period during which both sides prepare
> statements blaming the other side for breaking the ceasefire.
> 
>     Ceasefire (noun): The calm before the press release.
> 
>     Ceasefire (noun): A tactical opportunity to move the artillery
> slightly closer.
> 
>     Ceasefire (noun): The world's longest-running practical joke.
> 
>     Every ceasefire announcement should come with the disclaimer:
> "Results may vary."
> 
>     You know a ceasefire is serious when both sides immediately start
> explaining why the other side will violate it.
> 
>     The life cycle of a ceasefire:
> 
>         Announce ceasefire.
> 
>         Celebrate ceasefire.
> 
>         Investigate ceasefire violation.
> 
>         Repeat.
> 
>     A ceasefire is the only agreement where everyone signs it while
> simultaneously checking if their rifle is loaded.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVGNlTZ6vbA
> 
> I love ceasefires, gives me a chance to shoot them while they are still
> reloading...


Reporter: During the ceasefire, who shoots first?

General: Who.

Reporter: That's what I'm asking.

General: That's what I'm answering.

Reporter: Then who fires the first shot?

General: Who fires the first shot.

Reporter: Why?

General: No, Why waits until later.

Reporter: Wait, Who shoots first and Why shoots later?

General: Now you're getting it.

Reporter: Then what does Nobody do?

General: Nobody violates the ceasefire.

Reporter: If Nobody violates the ceasefire, why is everyone shooting?

General: Because Who started it.

Reporter: That's exactly what I'm trying to find out!