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From: The Starmaker <starmaker@ix.netcom.com>
Newsgroups: sci.physics.relativity,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,talk.politics.misc
Subject: Wats a "CEASEFIRE"?   ..."Who shoots first?"
Date: Mon, 08 Jun 2026 11:33:52 -0700
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Xref: csiph.com sci.physics.relativity:671133 alt.fan.rush-limbaugh:3042597 talk.politics.misc:1225435

A ceasefire is military slang for "reload break."

    Every ceasefire starts with both sides agreeing to stop shooting and
ends with both sides asking, "Was that you?"

    A ceasefire is that magical moment when everyone pauses to find
better targets.

    History's favorite joke: "This ceasefire will hold."

    A ceasefire is just shooting's intermission.

    Nothing makes soldiers more nervous than hearing, "Good news, we
have a ceasefire."

    A ceasefire is when everyone stops firing long enough to accuse the
other side of firing.

    The shortest ceasefire in history lasted until somebody heard a
suspicious noise.

    A ceasefire is proof that optimism can survive direct artillery
fire.

    Rule #1 of ceasefires: Never buy non-refundable tickets.



    Every ceasefire eventually answers the question, "Who shoots first?"

    A ceasefire is when both sides agree that tomorrow's battle deserves
fresh ammunition.

    The most dangerous part of a ceasefire is believing it.

    A ceasefire is military code for, "See you after lunch."

    If wars had coffee breaks, they'd call them ceasefires.



    Ceasefire (noun): A temporary period during which both sides prepare
statements blaming the other side for breaking the ceasefire.

    Ceasefire (noun): The calm before the press release.

    Ceasefire (noun): A tactical opportunity to move the artillery
slightly closer.

    Ceasefire (noun): The world's longest-running practical joke.



    Every ceasefire announcement should come with the disclaimer:
"Results may vary."

    You know a ceasefire is serious when both sides immediately start
explaining why the other side will violate it.

    The life cycle of a ceasefire:

        Announce ceasefire.

        Celebrate ceasefire.

        Investigate ceasefire violation.

        Repeat.


    A ceasefire is the only agreement where everyone signs it while
simultaneously checking if their rifle is loaded.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVGNlTZ6vbA



I love ceasefires, gives me a chance to shoot them while they are still
reloading...



-- 
The Starmaker -- To question the unquestionable, ask the unaskable,
to think the unthinkable, mention the unmentionable, say the unsayable, 
and challenge the unchallengeable.