Path: csiph.com!v102.xanadu-bbs.net!xanadu-bbs.net!usenet.blueworldhosting.com!feeder01.blueworldhosting.com!news.misty.com!news.iecc.com!.POSTED!nerds-end From: federation2005@netzero.com Newsgroups: comp.compilers Subject: Error-handling if your compiler had an attitude. Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 13:51:06 -0800 (PST) Organization: Compilers Central Lines: 41 Sender: news@iecc.com Approved: comp.compilers@iecc.com Message-ID: <14-12-010@comp.compilers> NNTP-Posting-Host: news.iecc.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Trace: miucha.iecc.com 1419894712 3747 2001:470:1f07:1126:0:676f:7373:6970 (29 Dec 2014 23:11:52 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@iecc.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 23:11:52 +0000 (UTC) Injection-Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 21:51:06 +0000 Keywords: errors, history, comment Posted-Date: 29 Dec 2014 18:11:52 EST X-submission-address: compilers@iecc.com X-moderator-address: compilers-request@iecc.com X-FAQ-and-archives: http://compilers.iecc.com Xref: csiph.com comp.compilers:1453 What if your compiler had an attitude problem? I was thinking of funny things it could do for error-handling (maybe with a -X switch for GenX/Millennial verbose output): * It addresses you like "Dude! You boffed the syntax again." or the like. * It tells you to get glasses if you keep missing semicolons [Note 1]. * If you use older or archaic style (particularly, deprecated stuff), it makes fun of you and asks if you need help with your walker. [Note 2]. * When variables are spelled inconsistently, it recommends Sesame Street to you for remedial assistance. * When you forget to include declarations for built-in stuff, it pretends it's never heard of the function, like "what's a 'printf' and why is the 'f' there?" * Other undeclared externals get replies like "What? Am I supposed to figure out what my_func is by myself?" * When there are too many errors, it may reply with "you're in way over your head" or "are you sure you're using the right language?" * It may also silently rack up error counts and afterwards ask, "There are 2015 errors. Would you like to see them all? Huh? Huh?" * If you keep using keywords as your own variable names or other names, it goes like "Stop that!" and threatens to delete or uninstall itself, maybe with a menacing statement "I know where my home directory is." or "I hope you kept backups of your installation files." Notes: [1] I have [pseudo-]myopia that can get as bad as 20-200 when I don't keep it in check. [2] I used to use a walker ... some time before the age of 1. [I recall a few compilers a long time ago, like the 1970s, that tried to be cute. It was amusing for about 5 minutes, then annoying. Also see http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/dec/29/facebook-apologises-over-cruel-year-in-review-clips -John]