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<FWD>: Vote! Usenet Kook Awards, July 2012

Cross-posted to 6 groups.

Followups directed to: alt.usenet.kooks

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Howdy, readers of alt.suicide.holiday, comp.lang.java.programmer,  
alt.free.newsservers, sci.math, and rec.arts.poetry!

And boy, has the One and True Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler 
of alt.usenet.kooks put together the Mother Of All Ballots together 
for July 2012! 

Unchallenged for the Kook of The Month is Paul "Two-Socks" Derbyshire, 
a kook known to many of you as "Seamus MacRae" and "thoolen" - as 
well as having other multiple fake personalities which, oddly enough, 
all have their own Usenet accounts.  With that many dirty socks 
lying around the house, wouldn't you hate to be Paul's mother on 
laundry day?  As Alex Cain's mother can surely attest, especially 
since Dink is up for the Order of The Holey Sockpuppet Award.  

But back to Paul - he's been busy kooking out this month, since he's 
also up for the Looney Maroon, the Bolo Bullis Foam Duck,  the Goofy 
Azzed Babboon, and the Global Village Pump Awards.  Can he add these 
trophies to his Clueless Newbie of the Month Award, which he won as 
Seamus MacRae?  

Meanwhile, Mittens The Anonypussy (AKA [Tard] Phoenix, AKA the 
Fake Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler), one of the most 
spanked kooks in the history of AUK and Paul Derbyshire's 
running-mate for the Ministry Of Circle Jerks, faces recognition 
for stinking up the joint in the form of The Busted Urinal Award.  
It's expected that [Tard] The Pussy will mount a strong challenge 
to Albatross, the Stalker's Stalker, for the Kluck Lysaght 
"Tar & Feathers" Award.  Who will win this sudden death play-off?

And speaking of sudden death - in other awards, William Melchert 
Dinkel, the killer nurse from alt.suicide.holiday, lost his court 
appeal and so 'Lio Dao' is up for the Balsa Gavel Award - guess the 
price of speech when talking people into killing themselves isn't 
so free after all, eh, Bill?   

Lastly and by no means leastly (said the tigerlilly), the denizens 
of AUK have sought to recognize Steve Crook of Mixmin.net with a 
merit award, for his dedication to dealing with abuse of the 
internet, in the form of The Hammer of Thor.

New to voting?  http://blackhelicopternews.blogspot.com/p/how-to-vote.html
shows you how.  

On a final note - beware of imitations; genuine AUK ballots and Vote 
Wrangers originate only from DataBasix accounts.  

Happy voting, and may the best(?) k00k win!!1!!!


-= BEGIN forwarded message =-

On Tue, 31 Jul 2012 17:41:12 GMT, Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler 
<fnvw@databasix.com> posted in alt.usenet.kooks:

Here follows the one true ballot for the July 2012 Usenet Kook awards. 
Anybody may vote, but your votes may be disqualified, mocked, burnt, 
shredded and/or recycled for use as toilet paper at the Vote Wrangler's 
discretion if: 
  * you are a previous winner of Kook of the Month or the Bobo Award
  * you are a resident of the Galactic Killfile
  * you attempt to vote twice
  * you vote anonymously or with an unidentifiable sockpuppet
  * you vote for or against yourself
  * you vote in a thread other than this one
  * you vote in a newsgroup other than AUK without crossposting to AUK
  * you follow up to an incomplete or altered version of the ballot
  * you have officially been declared non-existent 
Crossposting the complete, unaltered ballot is permitted. You have until
00:01 GMT on August 8th to cast your votes. Vote wisely; next time the
candidate might be *you*. 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Kook of the Month
(vote yes or no)
Paul Derbyshire, posting as Kensi and Nadegda. 

Coward of the Month
(vote yes or no) 
Albatross. 

Looney Maroon Award
(vote yes or no) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire. 

Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award
(vote yes or no) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire.  

Palmjob Paddle
(vote yes or no) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire.

Balsa Gavel
(vote yes or no) 
William Melchert-Dinkel.  

George Pickett Memorial Trophy
(vote yes or no) 
Albatross.  

Kluck Lysaght "Tar & Feathers" Award
(vote for one)
[Tor] Phoenix aka Mittens the Anonypussy. 
Albatross. 
neither of the above

Busted Urinal Award
(vote yes or no) 
[Tor] Phoenix aka Mittens the Anonypussy.  


Goofy Azzed Babboon
(vote yes or no) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire. 

Order of the Holey Sockpuppet
(vote yes or no) 
Alexander "Dink" Cain. 

Bolo Bullis Foam Duck
(vote yes or no) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire.  

Global Village Pump Award
(vote yes or no) 
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire. 

Ministry of Circle Jerks
(vote for one)
Paul G. "Two-Socks" Derbyshire and [Tor] Phoenix aka Mittens the Anonypussy.  

The 4 Stooges (incumbent) Greg Hall, Emmett Gulley, %, and Janithor

Hammer of Thor
(vote yes or no) 
Steve Crook. 

--
July 2012 Nominations:
http://blackhelicopternews.blogspot.com/2012/07/july-2012-nominations.html

http://blackhelicopternews.blogspot.com/p/award-winners-1994-2012.html

http://fnvw.databasix.com (awards descriptions and more)


-= END forwarded message =-



-- 
If you want to see something lamer than John Edward Kook's Aratzio frogeries, 
                   check out Scatboi's forgeries.

Anonopussy gets kicked to the kerb in <0xKRr.45217$7y4.27784@newsfe23.iad>
                         and again in <y4LRr.40166$lt3.7151@newsfe18.iad>

Paul Derbyshire and socks get spanked - <xH5Rr.27106$%Y2.25446@newsfe02.iad>

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<FWD>: Vote!  Usenet Kook Awards, July 2012 This account has been banned because it violated the Google Groups Terms Of Use <laughing@u.kook> - 2012-08-01 02:15 +0000

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